I would sooner cut off my pinky than compromise the most potent and ritualized way of waking up. Decaffeinated coffee is nothing more than a mistake.
What does it really mean when you drink decaffeinated coffee to begin with? The whole appeal of coffee comes from using it to wake up in the morning, so in factoring out its initial purpose you’re left with something that makes you feel like you’re drinking coffee, but you’re not. You’re drinking a lie.
And if we say it’s OK to lie, especially in the morning, what’s stopping us from believing it’s OK to lie the rest of the day? Or forever? When you partake in a lie, you screw everything else into a potential lie. In this pretense, whose to say you’re even drinking decaffeinated coffee anyway. How can you know for sure you’re drinking coffee 100 percent caffeine free?
It turns out, despite removal of most caffeine, many “decaffeinated” drinks still have around 1 to 2 percent of the original caffeine in them, and some have up to 20 percent. So, lies can be further lies, which in turn can lie even more.
Orange juice might be a better option.

Paul can be reached at [email protected].