OrionScopes: Week of April 17
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Editor’s note: The horoscopes below are compiled in a collaborative effort from The Orion’s opinion staff and have no actual bearing on current astrology.
Taurus: Midterms are over and it’s time to make life about you for a bit. Screw everyone else, call into work sick and go shopping. You need some “me time” after being with your family all Easter.
Libra: You woke up with chocolate smeared in the creases of your neck and armpit again this weekend after falling asleep from a hard study session. Just make sure to stay away from brownies today, and probably for the rest of the week, to be safe. Your roommates cooked a batch but you shouldn’t trust what’s in them. You have a hard time controlling yourself and if you eat too many you might fall asleep before you even start studying.
Gemini: Your memory is usually on point but you will have a hard time remembering what movie you watched or where you put your keys after 4/20. Write yourself little notes all over the house to help you keep track of your thoughts. You probably shouldn’t venture out in public, but you are very spontaneously and you decide things on the fly. It’s a great spirit to have, but if you lose your wallet again your parents are going to know something is up and might cut you off.
Sagittarius: You are the epitome of awesome this week. Nothing can stand in your way. Not even that parking ticket, even though you clearly had to park there because all the spots were full. Take this positive energy and put it back into the universe. Earth Day is this week so pick up some trash and recycle some cans. You are the difference the world needs this week.
Pisces: Stock up on snacks before you get home today. You may not feel hungry now, but the night you have planned calls for munchies. You know more than anyone how much it sucks wanting snacks with nothing in the house. And leaving the house is barely an option. It’s a regret not worth living with because without popcorn and ice cream your night will be ruined.
Virgo: If you lost in the Associated Students election, don’t fret. You can go back to being a regular student. Kick back and relax this week without feeling guilty for zoning out on the couch with your friends. If you even have friends anymore. You pushed a lot of people away because you were too busy campaigning. Get back to basics and reconnect. There is always a silver lining, even in losing.
Leo: All you have been doing this past week is daydreaming about the hot person you met over Easter. You might not have acted on those feelings, but that hasn’t stopped your brain from being distracted. Just remember you have a significant other who doesn’t want to be toyed around with. You have that certain quality that makes it easy to fall in love with, but you can be a tool sometimes.
Capricorn: It may feel like it’s the end of the world, but just breathe. Take a yoga class this week or go for a run in Bidwell park. Don’t bother inviting your friends, they will all be too stoned to even pick up their phones. Don’t let this annoy you. Try and be the free spirit you want to be and let it go.
Scorpio: Turn on the Beatles and let the energy and grooviness sweep over you. Relaxing with your favorite playlist is going to be important this week since you’ve been strung out with studying for tests. Midterms are over so you have nothing to worry about.
Aquarius: This week is no different than any other week for you. Who cares it’s 4/20; you don’t need a day to celebrate. You are not a conformist. But that thinking doesn’t make you better than anyone so let go of your judgments and join in the circle. Your friends appreciate your long political rants during smoke sessions.
Aries: You think you’re funny and sometimes you are, but not this week. Trying to get your friend’s dog high isn’t cool. You should take a look inward and ask yourself why you feel the need to share weed with a pet. Your friends think you are changing and don’t want to chill with you as much because of these stupid tendencies. Apologize to your friend’s pet first and then go to your friend to explain yourself.
Cancer: A lot of people forgot about you this week and you weren’t invited out. This is because you’ve been locking yourself away in your room recently. Ruining everyone’s high by whining about how you’d rather be at home doesn’t make people want to invite you out. Try attending a social gathering with your friends this week instead of closing yourself off to the world.