Sex is something that has endless varieties. Unfortunately, most of us tend to limit ourselves to one flavor of it instead of sampling all that is available.
Many people have preconceived notions of the right or wrong ways to have sex. But as long as what happens behind closed doors is safe and consensual, everything should be on the menu.
Sex, usually through the eyes of those who take it too seriously, is the basic form of procreation with the intent for only pleasure. Sometimes, the goal is to actually reproduce. Other times, it’s just to orgasm or feel satisfied with either yourself or your partner. This idea is similar to going to your job only for the purpose of socializing with friends when there is a much better time and place.
Everybody has different preferences when it comes to pleasure and some can feel demonized for what makes them feel good. People should be able to enjoy multiple partners, a single partner or even the absence of a partner altogether without feeling judged by society.
The possibities of sex are full of so much variety. It’s similar to stepping into a Baskin-Robbins, knowing you came in to get the pistachio almond ice cream, but seeing everyone else order vanilla.
It can be hard to fully enjoy sex when you only allow yourself to experience what everyone else labels as normal. For some, achieving “normal” sex is satisfying, where others want to fully explore it. For anyone who has ever ventured into the scary world of the internet, I challenge you to explore a pornography website and witness the never-ending lists of genres and categories that are established.
Other than just the physical acts of sex, there are further stigmas that hold people back from fully enjoying sexual activities. Not only do we live in a society that limits our exploration of sex, we like to label people who enjoy it too much.
Women are called sluts and shamed for any amount of sexual interest that is deemed excessive. Meanwhile, men achieve manhood with each notch in their bed posts. The notch count to be praised as gladiatorial conquests while disregarding that quantity has nothing to do with quality. One man’s satisfaction is another woman’s bitter disappointment. When in truth neither side should be so blind as to focus on these ancient and simplistic descriptors.
The goal is not to shame those around us or to expect normality from the people we choose to spend these intimate moments with. When we are seeking pleasure, especially when seeking it with another person, we need to be open to the wants and needs of both involved.
If you enjoy sex for the pleasure of it, then it’s on you to make it that way and keep communication with your partners open. I am not saying we should all tackle sex bound in leather and through roleplaying as a lost delivery driver, but if that is what you’re into, then be proud of it.
Jacob Collier can be reached at [email protected] or @Saerumic on Twitter.