Plenty of assumptions and stereotypes exist about introverts, many of them false.
Some equate introversion with being:
- shy
- unfriendly
- anti-social
- socially awkward
All of these, while commonly linked to introversion, are not actually what being an introvert means.
In reality, an introvert is someone who focuses energy inward, rather than outward toward other people.
I actually was a shy kid, but that’s just one person’s story. Because, believe it or not, introverts can be friendly and outgoing. These introverts are not the ones I’m referring to, as they can — and often do — pass as extroverts.
The introverts that receive the shy, anti-social or socially awkward label are mostly just quiet and observant. Like me, they keep to themselves most of the time until they feel it’s necessary to speak up.
In addition, small talk is not necessarily difficult for introverts, just less satisfying. Personally, I like small groups that I can have deeper conversations with and one-on-one, if possible, is preferred.
But this does not mean I can’t hold a conversation, am afraid of people or even hate them.
Honestly, people are great. I’m just exhausted by them. If I spend all day in crowds and groups, talking to people and socializing, I feel the need to recharge by being alone.
This also means that my preferred way to relax and decompress is not by going to a party where there are crowds and plenty of socializing.
So don’t feel bad for me or think I’m missing out if I don’t go because I’m probably having just as much fun at home with my tea and Netflix.
I don’t blame the perpetration of these stereotypes on extroverts or any one group.
Whether correct or not, stereotypes are created because of a repetition or pattern of behavior.
What this means is that it’s not just extroverts that are spreading the stereotypes, but introverts as well. It’s anyone that honestly believes these traits are linked to introversion.
These assumptions are not what anger or frustrate me because I know that there are reasons for them. But I also know that stereotypes do not include the full range of human experiences and behaviors. Everyone is different, even introverts.
What does frustrate me is when I hear people say that introversion doesn’t exist, that it’s an excuse.
Ironically, these words have come from extreme extroverts who can’t possibly understand how someone else doesn’t recharge and feel energized by being around people but is exhausted by it.
These beliefs are also based off the assumption that all conventionally quiet introverts are just shy, anti-social people who are using the word introvert as an excuse to not socialize and be a part of society.
Just because someone doesn’t understand or relate to something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Allison Galbreath can be reached at [email protected] or @agalbreath19 on Twitter.
