Published 2008-10-10T00:00:00Z”/>
Jennifer Siino
You don’t have to be an employee of Geek Squad to be owned by geeks. Anyone who works for anything that has to do with technology probably has a boss who is a geek.
When I say geek, I’m not talking about the “World of Warcraft” kids who are so out of touch with reality they haven’t gone outside in six weeks and haven’t left their desks in two days. I’m not talking about the kids who do nothing other than read J.R.R. Tolkien and watch “Star Trek” all day.
I’m talking about good old-fashioned geeks, not the kids who are so awkward you can’t even figure out how they exist, but the ones who are too smart to be socially acceptable. My best example of this kind of person is my boyfriend, Chris.
Chris is a genius. He got a five on his Advanced Placement psychics test, he’s got a higher IQ than his dad, who is a member of Mensa and he does rocket science for fun. He played “Warcraft” for a while, he plays Dungeons & Dragons every now and again with his buddies, but they don’t rule his life. These are the kinds of geeks I’m talking about.
In a strange “Revenge of the Nerds” sort of way, it’s true that geeks have a wonderful sense of poetic justice and end up being more successful than the people who made fun of them all through high school.
To better prepare you for being owned by geeks, I’ve compiled a series of reasons why they are more successful than everyone else.
<strong>Reason No. 1: Geeks figured out that HTML coding is more valuable than party planning</strong>
While jocks and cheerleaders were busy gossiping and planning killer parties, the geeks were at home making awkward physics jokes and expanding their knowledge of HTML coding.
Unfortunately for the “popular crowd,” learning how to throw a great kegger will not exactly impress an employer. To their credit, it is a skill that – phrased correctly – could help land them a job in the party planning business. But that’s it. HTML coding, however, is pretty handy in today’s world.
<strong>Reason No. 2: Geeks are the new handymen</strong>
The geeks have a leg up on everyone. We live in the information age, and geeks are information whores. This is part of what makes them so successful. Since computers are an essential piece of modern day life for the average American, geeks are no longer kept around for humor and general amusement but for their great deeds as the modern handymen.
<strong>Reason No. 3: Using your mind pays more than using your muscles</strong>
Someone who has spent their life devoted to the expansion of their biceps instead of their mind only has a few viable career choices: professional athlete or unskilled manual laborer.
Somebody who expands their mind, on the other hand, can be anything from an astronaut to an engineer. Realistically, chances of becoming a successful professional athlete are low, though it could theoretically happen.
Society still has a special place for the bodybuilding meatheads of the world, but it is certainly nowhere any sane person would wish to be.
Honestly, being bent over in the locker room with your teammate sticking a needle into your butt so you can get the steroids that allow you to chase records isn’t exactly a pretty picture.
Why do we need these overmuscled morons? We don’t. We keep them around because we think they’re entertaining. But that’s where the geeks win. They chose the more reasonable route: mind over muscle, my dear friends.
<strong>Reason No. 4: Geeks found out technology = money = power</strong>
While the jocks were at their various practices, the geeks used their wits to predict that this whole “Internet and technology” thing isn’t going away and that the people who are involved in it are making lots of money.
Money equals power. What’s one thing geeks lacked in high school? Power. But they’re certainly making up for it now.
It’s the electronic age. People are owned by their gadgets, and geeks control those gadgets. Even if you don’t have gadgets, you probably work for a company that uses ’em.
Until the next generation blows technology out of the water with something better, the geeks have us under their control.
Jen Siino can be reached at<a href= “mailto:[email protected]”>[email protected]</a>
<strong>The Faint – “The Geeks Were Right”</strong><em>Video from YouTube</em>
<strong>Related links</strong><a href= “http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/faint_the_lyrics_23842/fasciinatiion_lyrics_83930/the_geeks_were_right_lyrics_828432.html”>The Faint – “The Geeks Were Right” Lyrics</a><a href= “http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2008/01/17/12-reasons-why-a-geek-will-steal-your-girlfriend-in-2008/”>12 Reasons Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008</a>
