Published 2006-09-19T00:00:00Z”/>

Callie Ziemer

Friends and family are probably the most important things in life. They support, console and relate. However, you should never enter any situation with them in which money is involved.

How many episodes of “The People’s Court” have you seen in which a disgruntled plaintiff is suing his or her former boyfriend/girlfriend, friend or family member over money for rent or a loan, and thereafter, the relationship is no more?

I think that at some point, everyone will enter a situation with a friend or family member that involves money, and it will end poorly.

I know multiple situations in which people moved in with their friends, and one of their friends, or rather, the parents, owned the house. The lease would be very informal, and the renters would trust their landlord because they knew each other. Everything would be fine, and then, when general issues arose, things would not be fixed or questions about rent would not be resolved, the renters would become disappointed. When the renters moved out because they were unhappy with their living situation, there were further complications about paying rent when other people moved into the house. In the end, several of the roommates were bitter.

For the last three weeks, my best friend from home has been complaining about her former roommate and now ex-friend. She decided to move out of the apartment and made a deal with the new renter that they would pay back her deposit and a half-month’s rent for the time that my friend was still on the contract. When she said she was moving out and her replacement agreed to pay her the money, I told her to write it down and have each of them sign it. She didn’t do so, because everyone knew each other, and now she thinks she might have to go to small claims court to get her money back. I told you so!

One of the most famous family feuds was in the 1960s between Peter and Robert Mondavi, who operated a very successful winery, Charles Krug, in Napa Valley. After a fistfight and years of disagreement, Peter Mondavi forced his brother out of the business. Robert Mondavi went on to found the Robert Mondavi Winery. An MSNBC article reports that after 40 years, the brothers, now in their 90s, are only beginning to reconcile and make wine together again.

With so many possible problems, starting a business with family or friends could make anyone wary. Entrepreneur.com suggests that you look at the relationship to see if it can withstand the stress, define the business roles clearly and communicate openly to try to operate a family business.

The next time your best friend approaches you about moving in together or asks for a loan, try to think as objectively as you can about what that friend is like as a person. Can I live with him or her? Will he or she pay me back? How much is the relationship worth to me? Do I want to look like a fool in front of Judge Joe Brown and the nation?

Callie Ziemer can be reached at

<a href= “mailto:[email protected]”>[email protected]</a>