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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Foreign Exchange: The female in her natural habitat

Published 2012-02-28T15:00:00Z”/>

opinion

Ben Hames

In a follow-up to my column last week, I have decided to talk about the different types of American women I see here at Chico State.

<strong>Hipster</strong> – <em>nonconformus fornoreasoninparticularis</em>

The hipster can usually be spotted by the unnecessary glasses on her face and by her vintage clothes, which cost too much. The hipster’s diet is basic, and it usually survives on a combination of Pabst Blue Ribbon and underground music. They are usually seen with a camera around their necks, finding some way to get in touch with their creative side, or sipping black coffee or tea and hanging out at Upper Bidwell Park with their rescue dog.

Hipsters will also never admit to being hipster.

<strong>Student female athlete</strong> – <em>manlynus coverupus</em>

These women are found in their natural habitat walking briskly to class with their Camelbak water bottles and drawstring backpacks in hand.

These extremely fit girls receive awkward stares at the gym when they lift 75 pounds more than their male competitors. Some would think these creatures would prefer to mate with equally muscular beings rather than nerdy, scrawny males.

These women partake in all kinds of sports, from soccer to the uber womanly sport of shot put. There’s nothing more feminine than seeing a bunch of women throwing their balls across a field — grunting and all.

 

<strong>Bookworm</strong>  – <em>bookus nerdyus</em>

Hate would be a strong word to describe my feelings toward the so-called bookworm, so I will use it. Hardworking, nerdy, good grades — basically everything I’m not.

From my observations, I have witnessed that the bookworm is most vocal when the rest of the class is ready to leave. They suddenly get an urge, a defense position perhaps, to ask a question that no one wanted to hear.

Thanks for making me five minutes late to my other class. The bookworm can be spotted by the awkward shuffling they do in their seats, as well as by their closed body language.

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<strong>Ben Hames can be reached at</strong>

<em>[email protected]</em>

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