Sex Column: Role Playing

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Published 2011-02-09T16:44:00Z”/>


Lexi Brister

“Do you come here often?” This was the line my ex used when he approached me at a party, pretended not to know me and tried to pick me up as per the plan we had formed earlier in the night.

All I can say about this is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Despite being together for two years and trying a lot of kinky things in the bedroom, our sex life had become dull and we needed an exciting change. We thought pretending to meet for the first time would really heat things up between the sheets.

Unsure of how to go about this, I asked a married friend of mine for advice.

When she and her husband hit the wall of sexual monotony, she decided to make one of her favorite fantasies a reality.

So when her husband came home from work the next day she was waiting in the office wearing a corset and thigh-highs, and simply said, “Your work in the office today cost us a lot of money, and as CEO, I’m going to have to fire you unless you can give me a good reason not to.”

It’s been about a year since she ventured into this new territory with her husband, and they have not hit any snags since. In fact, they use this act every so often when their erotic appetites have them feeling hungry for something spicy.

On occasion they’ll switch roles and scenarios. A favorite is one they fondly refer to as the “teacher/student standby,” where one of them is “in detention” and the other is “giving instruction.”

For my friend and her husband, the games never leave the bedroom, which may have been a better route for my ex and I to take, but some find it extra exciting to initiate foreplay long before entering the bedroom.

This can be anything from simply pretending to be total strangers, to playing your favorite TV or movie characters. Unfortunately for my ex and me, acting like we didn’t know each other was way too awkward for us to get much out of it, and the relationship came to an end for other reasons before we got around to trying anything else.

When approaching the subject with a partner, the surprise attack can be a great way to go, but choose a fantasy that you feel confident you both could get into. If you’re more into strategizing or you’re not sure how your partner would feel, bring it up during a casual hangout by saying, “You know what might be fun the next time we’re in bed?”

Everyone has freaky fantasies. The key is to let them take flight in whatever way you feel comfortable.

When I was single, I thought about asking one of my casual flings to play doctor, just to make our weekly rolls in the hay a little more fun, but could never bring myself to actually go for it.

Somehow the thought that I could easily end up in a class or at a party with one of these people kept me from it. I didn’t really want to be thought of as “that girl who liked fooling around in scrubs.”

I did, however, pack naughty dress-up outfits for trips to visit my ex boyfriend, a context where I felt much more comfortable exercising my full capacity for sexual creativity.

Lexi Brister can be reached at

[email protected]


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