After high school, I moved into a two-bedroom apartment with one of my best friends.
We had played football and baseball together. We lived in the same neighborhood growing up. Who would be better for a roommate?
The first two weeks of living went great. We worked out together and made dinner every night. We were just two kids stoked to be out of our parents’ house with zero conflict.
Guess what? That didn’t last.
It all fell apart the day I invited a group of six or seven people over on a Thursday night. My roommate came home, shook his head and went into his room to study for a test the next morning.
Being the world-class friend that I was, I continued yelling and laughing with the group, offering absolutely no consideration for the guy in the other room that was obviously upset.
This behavior proceeded throughout the semester.
I would have people over, we would drink beer and play loud music. I would blast hip-hop in the shower when my roommate was sleeping in the other room. If I was out of peanut butter, I would borrow his.
He was a good dude. He’d be cool with it.
I would get home from baseball practice, he’d be doing the dishes. And since I did them a couple weeks before, he was probably cool with it.
The problem was, I knew he wasn’t cool with it. But he never said anything and I never asked. We were really good at ignoring each other’s (my) annoying characteristics.
As long as the rent was paid and somebody did the dishes, we could just be two people living in the same apartment.
One day, one of my friends told me he was looking for a new place to live. I offered that he share a room with me and go in on the rent. He agreed and moved in.
It seems like I forgot something there. Oh yeah, I never asked my roommate. I mean, it was in my room, not his, so what could be wrong with that?
Let’s all take a moment to recognize how much of an jerk I was.
Three days after my buddy moved in, my roommate (and now former friend) moved out. I went to class in the morning, came home in the evening and every single one of his belongings had been cleared out of the apartment.
But he left the peanut butter. A nice touch.
So to those living with your friends, communicate. Regardless how great of friends you are with the person you’re living with, you need to understand that living under the same roof as someone is a partnership.
Do your part, be considerate and, most of all, when something is bothering you, or worse, you think something might be bothering your roommate, talk to them.
Not only will it create a healthier partnership between you and your roommates, it can save a friendship.
Also, sorry, Derek.
Dylan de Wit can be reached at [email protected] or @DylanTdeWit on Twitter.