After a breakup, grieving takes time. But like the seven stages of grief, I have created seven rules for getting through a breakup.

I am currently going through a breakup and these seven rules helped me get through it.

Release your emotions

If you keep your feelings bottled in and act like nothing ever happened, it will take much longer to move on. It’s acceptable to vent, cry, laugh or punch a few pillows to let your feelings out. 

Smile

It isn’t easy but it helps when you genuinely smile. There is always something to smile about and it takes your mind off the break up. As the cliche goes, “it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.”

Keep busy

Keeping busy distracts you from the thoughts in your head and the pain in your stomach. Focus on schoolwork and work through the problems right in front of you instead of dwelling on what went wrong in your relationship.

Go out and have fun

Damn your ex. Don’t sit at home on a Friday night because you’re afraid to see him/her. It is going to be hard seeing him/her around town but you might as well get the awkward bump-in over with.

He/she is out of your life and going out with friends helps in not having to sit at home and think about the breakup or the past.

Don’t text or call your ex

It is tempting, I know. You want to tell him/her how much he/she hurt you. You want to yell, curse and scream at him/her all your anger and disappointment.

But, don’t do it.

It causes more grief than relief. It opens up the wound that is trying to heal.

Lean on friends

When you think you’re going to break under the heartache, call a friend. Friends are amazing when they say the right things. They are there to listen, they are there to give advice and they are there to help you back up. Listen to what they say because sometimes their insight shows you an outside perspective you might have missed while in the relationship.

Move on slowly

Give yourself time to heal before you jump into the next relationship. Everyone hates being alone but having one-night stands, having friends with benefits and agreeing to another relationship isn’t going to help get over your ex. Take a time-out for yourself and let your heart heal before it gets broken again.

Dealing with a breakup is never pleasant but you’ll ultimately get through it and grow because of it. So face this difficult time with your head held high.

Chantal Richards can be reached at [email protected],