The Orion

Emoji emotions

Miles Inserra

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






miles1.jpg

Illustration by Miles Huffman

In the midst of a ten hour shift barbacking at San Francisco’s Starlight Room, a couple asked me to capture a moment with their iPhone and it occurred to me, I did not know how to use an iPhone.

The home screen was so foreign I could not figure out how to access the camera in the dark. Granted the lights were dim, music reflected off every surface in the club and I had a few drinks in my system so my senses were subpar.

I have since solved the struggle that puzzled me in front of my customers, but a new dilemma has surfaced in my mobile world – emojis. Androids do not produce emojis, not like iPhones do.

Apple has an extensive selection including generic and absurd faces as well as symbols like evergreen trees, spouting whales and a slice of pizza. In comparison, rudimentary androids offer none of the above except generic faces. And the faces aren’t even yellow. They’re slime green.

When peers shoot me texts containing emojis to emphasis emotion, all I receive is the outline of a square.

Not to mention, sexting is incredibly difficult without a big purple phallic eggplant emoji to send my bae’s way on #EggplantFriday.

To anyone who has my phone number, please, no more emojis.

Miles Inserra can be reached at [email protected] or @m_inserra on Twitter.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Sugaring can be both sweet and sour

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Self-care is important; stress free phone apps

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    A ‘lovebite’ is an affectionate sign of love, embrace it

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Wildcat on the Street: Parking

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Student parking is making me angry

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Better ways to cope with a ‘hellish’ schedule

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    Walking away is easier than it sounds

  • Blogs

    Podcast: Kegels, being a vegan student and having pets in college

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    College students and pets don’t mix

  • Emoji emotions

    Blogs

    The friend zone: myth or fact?

X
The student news site of California State University, Chico
Emoji emotions