The O-face: On the rebound

I was recently told that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

I took this advice, but I like to think of it as taking a vacation where I get to have fun with no strings attached.

Connecting with other people helps exercise the memories of past relationships because connecting is a healing experience, according to Psychology Today.

There are two ways to rebound from a failed relationship.

One-Night Stands

Men usually take this approach because they want to feel passion without a relationship. They want to use women to get over a recent ex.

I asked 30 men and 30 women on Chico State’s campus whether they preferred one-night stands or casual sex to get over an ex. Twenty-four men preferred one night stands, compared to three women.

nostringsPeople who prefer one-night stands want meaningless sex and no emotional connection. It creates adventure and provides a huge ego boost.

I have done this form of rebounding and enjoyed it. I didn’t want to get wrapped up in more emotions when my emotions are what I was trying to escape.

I also wanted little intimacy and more pleasure.

My relationship was intimate enough. Rebounding with strangers creates more pleasure because it is a whole new territory to conquer.

The bad part about one-night stands is occasionally you end up with a psycho, or you forget to use protection.

But because these are fairly rare, one-night stands can help you get over your ex.

Casual Sex

Most people who are seeing someone on the rebound fear the partner will eventually get attached. But these days, people can tell the difference between sex and love.

Of the women I asked, 27 preferred getting over their ex with casual sex. Compare that to only five men.

I think this is because women want a connection with the ir partner, not just a romp in the bedroom with a stranger.

I am currently in a casual rebound situation, and I like it more than a series of one-night stands because I’m getting to know my partner more. We’re on the same page and the sex is getting better.

Just because I enjoy sex casually, does not mean I am a “loose” woman. It also does not mean I want a relationship — most women agree that is not what they want out of casual sex.

Men, if you don’t want a relationship, don’t treat the woman as if you are already in one. That is why women get attached eventually.

That means no gift buying, no everyday hangout and definitely be careful what you say, because women will analyze everything that comes out of your mouth.

No matter how you rebound, be sure to use protection and have fun with it.

 

Chantal Richards can be reached at [email protected] or @ChantieRichards on Twitter.

Illustration by Liz Coffee.