Whether you’ve heard the term or not, “Eskimo” brothesr or sisters is a commonly talked about subject in college culture. The Urban Dictionary definition of an Eskimo brother is when two men have had sex with the same woman, and an Eskimo sister is when two women have had sex with the same man. The act of having sex with the same person is what makes people become “brothers” and “sisters.”

After looking up the origin of the term, I found out that being an Eskimo brother or sister comes from Eskimo hospitality, which refers to the sharing of beds and female companionship because of the cold. I suppose this is meant to represent people sharing the same partners instead of beds, thus making someone an Eskimo brother or sister.

When you finally become an Eskimo brother or sister to one of your friends, the reaction could range from a jealous fit of anger to absolute joy that you and your pal bonded over such an activity. It’s safe to say there are both negatives and positives involved with an Eskimo sibling situation.

Negatives

When a friend finds out you’re now official Eskimo siblings, things between you two could potentially be awkward. Depending on if your friend still had feelings for the person, becoming Eskimo siblings could be an uncomfortable, untalked-about topic that stays avoided. I’ve been in a situation where I slept with the same person my friend had slept with a couple months before, and I automatically felt guilty and a little ashamed that I had made us “Eskimo sisters.” However, time can usually heal the awkwardness and it becomes something to laugh about.

Some people are just not OK with being Eskimo brothers or sisters. Something about the concept of having sex with the same person as their friend is too weird, too unacceptable or too inappropriate. Even though I don’t feel the same way, it’s important to look out for friends who have this view. Messing up a friendship is never worth the one-night stand you could easily avoid.

A negative for either you or your friend is your newfound ability to discuss the mutual person you both slept with— which would be negative for the third-party person. If you and your friend are both able to openly discuss it, then odds are you both will share the nitty-gritty details (the good, the bad and the ugly). It’s entertaining for Eskimo siblings, but unfortunate for the other person who gets their dirty laundry aired between two friends.

Positives

Some could argue that becoming Eskimo siblings is a special type of bond— a way to expand the family tree. Once you become Eskimo siblings with someone, your relationship can only get stronger. Both of you are able to experience something similar and can now freely laugh and joke about it. I’ve noticed that men have a greater tendency to boast about being Eskimo brothers (and might even make it a goal of theirs to become one). However, women don’t necessarily seek out this “bond” with each other and prefer to not even look at it as a bond.

Becoming an Eskimo brother or sister can also be a learning experience. If you and your friends seem to have issues when it comes to being Eskimo siblings, then you now know how to avoid it in the future. Also, you both know how the other will react to this situation and can be prepared for the next time (if there is a next time). However, if you and your friends are really into being Eskimo siblings, then you can learn to adopt a game plan to make it happen more often.

Being an Eskimo sibling can be something to just simply laugh about. In my case, my friend and I chose to move forward from the past and laugh with each other about past hookups and mistakes. If you choose to look at it lightheartedly, having sex with the same person as your friend can be humorous. You both shared intimate moments with the same exact person, and (hopefully) you’re still friends to tell the story.

Emma Vidak-Benjamin can be reached at [email protected] or @gnarlyemma on Twitter.