Couples, you’re doing college entirely wrong

Valerie Teegardin
Valerie Teegardin

When I hear people whine about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend, I want to smack them upside the head.

Riding solo is one of the best decisions you can make during your time in college.

I have nothing against relationships, but I believe they should be saved for after graduation. You have 35-plus years to find a partner out in the real world, but only four years to be a college kid.

Think about that the next time you mope over your single status on Facebook.

For the following reasons, being single may change your college experience in ways you never imagined:

1. This is the prime of your lifeOHOHOHOHOH

Our physical fitness is at its peak and our Instagram pictures will never be hotter. Physically, these are the best years of our lives.

College brings together a bevy of prime physical specimens onto one campus. Unless you plan on getting married right now — and let’s be real, you’re not — then embrace the single life. You should seize this opportunity and get your beauty recognized.

Be bold and say hi to the chick in class, or ask that cute cashier at Butte Station if he knows of anything going on this weekend. All it takes is a flash of unadulterated bravery.

2. Couples are deathly boring

We all know someone in a relationship who cannot hold a conversation without mentioning useless nonsense about their partner. Oh, your boyfriend saved you all the red Skittles? Please do continue, I am just dying to know more.

These people live in some fantasy world filled with happily ever after’s and actually expect us to enjoy listening to them drone on about their “boo.”

Um, no. Don’t be that person.

3. What happened to living young, wild and free?

We are in college. This is a time in our lives where we can be rebellious and carefree for the most part. Why get sucked into that dull routine that inevitably accompany every relationship?

Sure, couples may go to dinner and a movie at Tinseltown if they are feeling frisky. Or maybe those love birds would prefer a night at home in their ratty sweatpants. The only thing catching their eye is their partner’s retainer glistening in the dim lighting of Family Guy playing on the TV. Oh baby.

But hey, you may actually enjoy senseless fights with your lover or grungy dental gear. Just don’t limit yourself to these things by being tied down in a relationship.

Instead, you should be saying, “to hell with it” and try something shockingly new. The freedom you get from being single is absolutely begging to be utilized.

Step out of your comfort zone for one night, or two, or eight. Lose your voice from shamelessly belting out “YMCA” at karaoke night downtown or get on a dance floor and learn how to twerk. You can’t deny that both will create some priceless Instagram moments.

With the holidays upon us, there is no better time to do yourself a favor and ditch the “plus one” invitations. You will ring in the New Year with a fresh start to endless possibilities.

Cheers to the single life.

 

Valerie Teegardin can be reached at [email protected] or @vteegardin on Twitter.

Illustration by Liz Coffee.