OrionScopes: Week of Feb. 27


Photo credit: Brianna McDaniel

Brandi Gualco

Editor’s note: The horoscopes below are compiled in a collaborative effort from The Orion’s opinion staff and have no actual bearing on current astrology.

Aquarius: You have yet to uncover your true self worth. You are constantly introducing a new crush to your friends and surprised when then don’t like them. They do not like them because you tend to rush into relationships with the wrong people who are much less attractive than you. Spend some time developing some self-confidence this week. You deserve it.

Pisces: The upcoming tests and papers have you stressed out, Pisces. Rather than eating yourself into a food coma as a coping mechanism, take the time to organize your thoughts. Writing down your thoughts in a journal will prevent you from procrastinating, and help you enjoy spring break.

Aries: It’s about time to slow down with the drunk texts at inappropriate hours of the night. Just because you delete them in the morning before reading them doesn’t mean you didn’t send them. Try thinking about whether your parents would approve of that 2 a.m. text, and try to stay away from the party scene this week.

Taurus: This will be a challenging week for you, Taurus. Although you might want to brag about your recent accomplishments, remember that not everyone is skating by this semester. Try showing some humility, and avoid rubbing your recent C+ in everyone’s face.

Gemini: Your grudge holding is getting out of control. You are the type of person to stay mad at a friend for an argument you had in your dream. No one is going to sympathize with you just because someone else called dibs on the hot guy at the party before you did. Try repairing your friendships this week, and letting go of the past.

Cancer: From the endless Candy Crush invitations to being the biggest know it all to ever exist, there’s something about you that has been getting on your friends’ nerves recently. You may notice people trying to bail on plans and not responding to your constant text messages this week. Remember that being clingy isn’t cool and it’s OK to have wine Wednesday by yourself occasionally.

Leo: Lately you have been unhappy with the lack of likes you have been getting on the selfies you post. You wonder why your friends seem to be getting so many and you haven’t. Maybe it’s time to face the music and accept the fact you aren’t as cute as you were before you gained the freshman 15. You don’t need to post pictures from only the neck down to get likes, just hit the gym once in a while.

Virgo: You’re stressed about school and unhappy with the grades you have been receiving. This shouldn’t be much of a shock because you hardly put in any effort in your assignments and don’t show up to any of your classes. Since it’s too late to drop a class without signatures, either spend more time on your studies or come up with a compelling enough excuse to be dropped before you fail out again.

Libra: You say you’d do anything to lose 10 pounds. However, you refuse to eat healthy or do the slightest bit of exercise and expect the weight to fall off. You can count the times you’ve been to the WREC this semester on one hand and you complain you’ve done all that you can. Put down the pizza and pick up some weights if you want to see a change this week.

Scorpio: Face it, you have a spending problem. “Quick trips” to Target and drinks out with friends are costing more money than fixing the Oroville Dam. You need to start staying inside and handing over your credit cards to a more responsible human being. Remember that dollar drinks aren’t every night.

Sagittarius: Stuck in the friend zone? It’s because you go after people way out of your league. If you’re a five, the best you’re going to get is a seven, so stop chasing after nines.You are not the exception to this rule. Better to hear it now than waste away your young years going after people you will never get and drop to a four. This is your peak, accept it.

Capricorn: Your coworkers are excited for spring break because it’s a week long vacation they get to avoid you. They actually don’t even really consider you a co-worker anymore because you don’t do any of the work. You eat the food in the break room even when it clearly has someone’s name on it and spend more time on your phone in the bathroom than you do actually doing your job. Stop telling your manager your car broke down. He knows you’re just hungover.

Brandi Gualco can be reached at [email protected] or @TheOrion_News on Twitter.