Sometimes I just want to put things in my mouth. There are a lot of varieties of oral sex, which I have narrowed down to the top three most common.

Blow jobs

To spit or to swallow? That is the question on most peoples’ minds before they get a mouthful of cum.

Swallowing has its benefits, of course — there’s little to no mess to clean up afterwords.

Spitting has its benefits, too. But the fact is, where do you spit it out? You can’t very well spray it all over your partner. If you’re not going to swallow, have a trash can nearby so there isn’t a big mess.

The other thing to watch for is that awful gag reflex. Too many times I have heard horror stories about partners deep-throating and vomiting all over their partner.

But your partner deserves to be thrown up on if he keeps pushing your head further down his shaft. Men, if you don’t want to have bile all over your penis, keep your hands off of the back of your partner’s head.

Eating Out

Partners love eating out — and not just for fast-food. Most partners run their tongue around the vagina and swirl it around the clitoris. This feels great and often induces orgasm because many women enjoy clitoral stimulation in addition to vaginal penetration.

This is one of my favorite sexual acts — until my partner tries to kiss me.

I don’t like being kissed afterwards because of the taste that lingers in my partner’s mouth. Most women I have conversed with agree.

Ass-To-Mouth

Ass-to-mouth, also called the ATM is less conventional than the other two methods of oral sex. This is not the kind of ATM where you slide your card. Rather you slide your tongue to lick your partner’s anus.

Speaking from personal experience, ass-to-mouth isn’t glamorous. In fact, I was so turned off by the fact that I had a wet tongue in my butthole and wanted nothing else but for it to end quickly.

Some people are into it, which is fine. But if you are going to make a deposit at the ATM, make sure your partner is clean down there. Or, if you’re on the receiving end, make sure you wiped thoroughly.

Oral sex is great to spice up your sex life but be aware of the things that work for you and your partner and the things that don’t.

Chantal Richards can be reached at sexolumnist@theorion.com or @ChantieRichards on Twitter.

Illustrations by Liz Coffee.