The lights are dimmed, the bed is rocking and finally you let it out, “YESYESYESYESAHHHH!”
That’s right, you’re hearing an orgasm – or so you think you are.
Chances are you or your sexual partner have faked an orgasm whether you want to believe it or not.
According to NBC news in a survey, scientist Gayle Brewer asked 71 women between the ages of 18 and 48 questions regarding their sexual activity and satisfaction. She found that about 80 percent of these women used vocalization to fake climax almost every time they realized they would not be able to have an orgasm.
I may have faked an orgasm once or twice or all throughout high school. I’ve had my fair share of partners, but even in college, faking that big O still makes an appearance every hot, yet not-so-steamy night.
But why?
I have been tired, in pain, over it, avoiding awkwardness, with an inexperienced partner or most of all, trying to avoid hurting the guy’s feelings, especially if I actually liked him and wanted to keep him around. Hey, maybe he’d even improve next time.
For me, an orgasm fulfills that happy ending to great sex. It proves that the performance was satisfying and reassures your partner that they know how to please you.
Through my experience and talent of faking it, I’ve come to the conclusion that creating this misconception may not always be the right approach.
After all, faking it doesn’t change it.
Talking openly about what bedroom inclinations one another has heightens the chances of sexual encounters becoming more pleasurable in the future.
I have been in a committed relationship for about a year now and I have found that my sex life is drastically more enjoyable with a partner I share emotions with. We equally want to satisfy each other and it helps to talk about our sexual activity. We discuss aspects we like, don’t like, positions or even places we want to try out.
Sex should be intimate and fun, for both partners.
I love sex, good sex – and you should too.
Don’t feel as if you need to act like a fake actress in bed, always satisfied even when you’re not. So turn off the camera (or on, if you’re into that sort of kinky thing), and explore ways to make it instead of fake it.
Julie Ramos can be reached at [email protected] or @julie_ramoss on Twitter.