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Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Keeping sex alive in marriage

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TJ Carter Photo credit: Annie Paige

Sex is one of the biggest parts of my marriage.

I have been with my wife for over 13 years and have been married for 10. My wife and I have been having great sex since the first time we got together. Accomplishing this is not a hard thing to do.

In my opinion, one of the biggest reasons that married couples may get divorced is because they have lost interest in each other sexually. Losing interest in your partner can lead to loss in sexual drive or finding someone else to fulfill your needs. But this is not the case for everyone.

Finding great ways to have sex is very easy — just use your imagination. Communicating with your partner on what you would like to try is one of the key factors. Always discuss what you would like to try before it happens; no one likes a finger in the butt if they are not prepared for it.

One thing we try is anal play. It is always fun for both sides if willing to try. My wife and I would start with a finger or two — lube is good for this, but spit is better. Just brush your teeth before and after. When you are comfortable with fingers, try using a dildo. Even the guys may like this one. I know I do.

We have tried just about everything under the sun besides a three way, but that is always a possibility. I am never embarrassed to ask a sexual favor from my wife and she is always happy to oblige, as long as I am willing to do the same for her.

The biggest thing to remember is to have a safe word if you are going to try some of the more extreme things like anal, whipping or biting, and always be safe when fooling around.

TJ Carter can be reached at [email protected] or @tjdreadhead on Twitter.

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