I tip my hat to the brave souls who are able to put on their red wings and get down to business. I’m talking about river rafting the bloody gulch of no return.

Having sex while your partner is on their period is a little gross to me. My wife and I do some weird stuff, but that one takes the cherry cake.

The first time we tried to have sex while my wife was on her period was in the shower. We thought it would be a little cleaner for the blood to flow down the drain if it started to leak out. It wound up becoming a reenactment of the shower scene from “Psycho” in color.

That turned us off of the idea for awhile, but one night we decided to try it again. We couldn’t wait another week for the bleeding to stop so onward we marched toward the promised land. We decided to try it on the bed with a towel laid down to keep things from getting messy. It turned out to be 10 times worse than before.

It looked like a Charles Manson murder scene, and after only five minutes into it, we both threw in the towel for this match. I went soft and Maria was just as turned off with the entire experience. She said she was going to wait from now on, and that I had better make up for lost time when she is good to go or else.

Some people find no problem with sex during the partner’s period, and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m all for a healthy sexual relationship between two consenting adults. And there are no health risks with having sex while on your period.

So go out there and have your midnight fun, you vampires of the bedroom.

TJ Carter can be reached at [email protected] or @tjdreadhead on Twitter.