While searching on Pinterest for DIY projects I will never actually do, I came across a recipe for armpit bleaching lotion. I was completely baffled. When did I miss this trend? I started looking at my armpits in a different light and began to hate them.

I was a monster.

I knew I had to try this DIY magic potion. I couldn’t have my friends judging me and my unbleached armpits.

As I was making the potion, I remembered being the laughing stock a few years ago when I was the only one not having my asshole bleached.

“Never again,” I thought to myself.

Then I decided I should try and bleach my knees which are always a tad darker than my other leg skin.

By the week’s end, I was completely bleached. Sure, it stung and I was dizzy from inhaling so much chemicals, but I had the whitest knees and armpits of any of my friends.

I showed up to school ready to flash around my newly whitened skin when I heard my friends talking about a new product that makes your lady parts smell like peaches.

It may have been the bleach talking but I started to wonder at what point would it be okay for women to stop altering their bodies. Is it really all that necessary to have the most sparkly white pits around?

Women have bodies, and parts of their bodies have functions. Maybe we should just let our bodies be, instead of making more weird products to make women feel weird about their normal selves.

Alyssa Dunning can be reached at [email protected] or @alyssadunning3 on Twitter.