Perfume wearers are assets to society

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Illustration by Miles Huffman

You know what I love? People who wear so much perfume and cologne that I can actually taste it.

Normally, people with perfume allergies like mine would hate these overly-scented men and women. However, I think they’re doing a service to society.

First, women who wear so much perfume that I can smell them from three feet away are helping to save me money. By wearing that much perfume, I can tell whether or not that fragrance will bother my allergy, which allows me to make smart purchases.

If I don’t get a horrible and debilitating migraine that will kill me for the next three days, I know that that perfume is the one for me, and I didn’t even have to go to Sephora for samples.

Second, these fine-smelling people also help to encourage healthy habits for others. How many times have I walked into an elevator and taken the stairs instead due to the remnants of the previous user bothering my allergy?

Enough times to lose a few pounds, that’s for sure.

So, really, I think I owe credit to that girl who leaves a trail of Juicy Couture’s Viva La Juicy for part of my weight loss success.

In short, I think we should all thank that guy in class who wears the whole bottle of CK One or that girl in the library who bathes herself in Bath and Body Works body spray.

So thank you, you men and women of heavy scent, for spreading your smell for all to enjoy.

Megan Mann can be reached at [email protected] or @meganisthemann on Twitter.