Clear communication key to satisfying sexual encounters

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Illustration by J.Q. Hammer

There is nothing worse than lying in the missionary position and hoping that your partner will hurry up and finish. We’ve all been there and none of us want to go back.

Essentially, sex is just a physical activity where body parts collide and interact, but the tough part is making your partner feel genuinely sexy and wanted while doing so.

Let’s start with the basics — foreplay matters.

Have you ever tried to go down a slip-and-slide without any water on it? Yeah, ouch. There is this strange idea that women my age should be good to go at all times but news flash, we aren’t.

And just to clarify, by foreplay I don’t mean ripping off clothing and immediately copping a feel, but making an effort to learn how to tease and excite a woman. Avoid aggressive makeout sessions where teeth collide and tongues become confused and just take it slow. Maybe even ask us what we want.

Now don’t go and ruin the excitement by getting overzealous and ahead of yourself. The key to enjoyable sex is a good pace and there is nothing wrong with just starting off slow. Nobody likes a jabber, and by that I mean the type of sex where the guy just pelvic thrusts his way to victory.

Every person likes different things in the bedroom. So while your last sexual encounter may have been aggressive and kinky, your next one might be genuinely concerned for his or her safety if you take this approach.

It all just comes down to asking your partner what they like and don’t like during this steamy activity.

Sex is a strange and awkward thing to begin with, so try to not take it too seriously. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giggling when something doesn’t work out how you had planned, and there is also nothing wrong with being vocal about your preferences.

Allow yourself to get lost in the moment. Forget about your self-proclaimed flaws and just enjoy the present. If you’ve already made it this far, there is a good chance that your partner finds you attractive.

Keep in mind that everyone has their own little set of insecurities. For me, one of the things that I enjoy most is being told that I’m sexy while taking part in such a vulnerable physical activity. Tell them that you like the curves of their body or that you want them more than anything at that moment in time.

No one likes to feel naked and judged, so making someone feel comfortable and sexy in bed can either make or break the experience.

Sophia Xepoleas can be reached at [email protected] or @soph_mxx on Twitter.