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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Staying single in college: Benefits of flying solo

Illustration by J.Q. Hammer

You sense an alarming stare burning into the core of your soul from across the bar. Glancing over at your significant other, you realize that this accusatory stare is due to the rather extended and intimate conversation that you’ve been having with another member of the opposite sex.

You glance back in an attempt to communicate your disinterest in the obviously platonic situation, but it’s too late. At this point, the five shots of cheap tequila have kicked in and any legitimate form of reasoning is out the door. You know exactly where this night is headed, and it’s a road of no return.

You dismiss yourself from your current conversation and flee to your partner’s side hoping to salvage a perfectly good Friday night. But Jose Cuervo is one stubborn son of a bitch, and he’s helped your partner come to the conclusion that you two wanted nothing more than to partake in a warm, naked embrace.

So you both head home at 11:30 p.m., slurring your way through a repetitive argument about insecurities and trust issues, only to get home and rip off each others clothes and engage in passionate makeup sex that solves absolutely nothing.

College can be a tricky environment to foster a healthy relationship for numerous reasons. Not only are we young and full of hormones that attempt to dictate our thoughts, but most are still struggling to find a sense of self and belonging in this huge, crazy world. These two things alone can create instability in any relationship, and from that stems things like jealousy and insecurity.

I often hear my peers mistake being single for wanting the freedom to be with whomever one desires, but to me it is really about learning how to be perfectly happy by yourself. And maybe the occasional guilt-free make out session with that mysterious stranger you’ve been eyeing all night.

Although these two contradict, my point is that you can do whatever you want — whenever you damn well please. With that being said, you are the only person that you could potentially let down in the process.

I firmly believe that you can’t fully love someone else until you have fallen in love with yourself. Being completely on my own for so many years has taught me the ins and outs of my personal needs and preferences in regard to my overall happiness.

This isn’t to say that being in a relationship is impossible or illogical while in college, but if you aren’t in a healthy situation then you are better off taking this time to learn and grow as an individual. College years are some of the best times to be selfish about our decisions, or rather, to gain an enlightened self-interest. We have the rest of our lives to sit on the couch on a Friday night and judge others for going out, so we may as well take advantage of the present.

According to “Bridesmaids,” everyone needs to have those slutty college years. Well here they are folks, right in front of our eyes, and they will be gone before we know it. Wasting time on unhealthy relationships during these precious years is exactly that —a waste of time.

Sophia Xepoleas can be reached at [email protected] or @soph_mxx on Twitter.

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