The Orion

Death by musicals

Allison Galbreath

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Illustration by Miles Huffman

I know some people love musicals. They like enjoying theatrical performances and singing along with the music.

Which is fine. It’s great.

But for me? Musicals are terrifying.

The spontaneous bursts of music that can be spouted from any number of characters at any given moment puts me on edge.

Plus, they’re just so overly dramatic and theatrical. The fact that every other line of dialogue launches some character into song is ridiculous.

I mean, a character could spend five minutes or more singing about their feelings when they could’ve easily said a line or two about it or even nothing at all.

I could only imagine if my life were a musical. It would probably go something like this:

  • I wake up for the day and sing about loving the morning and new starts
  • I start my chores/daily tasks and sing about hating my massive workload
  • I go to my classes and sing about wanting freedom and waiting for the chance to prove myself
  • I run into a cute stranger and sing about possibilities
  • I finally fall asleep for the night and sing about the future, dreams and aspirations

See how ridiculous that would be?

Not to mention exhausting. My voice would be completely dead at the end of every day.

At least it would match how I feel when I attend musicals.

Allison Galbreath can be reached at [email protected] or @agalbreath19 on twitter.

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Death by musicals