Unhealthy food is the best food

Illustration by Miles Huffman

Breaking news: Kraft Singles are no longer considered a children’s health food.

Well no duh, Sherlock Holmes, I could have told you that.

But you know what, they sure do taste amazing.

Just last week I had this discussion with my mom. Well, it was more like she lectured me on how bad for me American cheese is while I repeatedly said “uh huh” and threw a pack in my shopping cart anyway.

I am fully aware that Kraft Singles are really bad for me. They’re completely processed and have questionable ingredients that may or may not clog my arteries and add another nail into my proverbial coffin.

That being said, they make the best grilled cheese sandwiches in my humble opinion, and I can’t have a Manwhich sandwich for dinner without placing a slab of processed cheese stuff between the meat/sauce mixture and top bun.

Ultimately, this could be said for all food that isn’t exactly “healthy” for me.

I hate to say it, but when it comes to food, I say screw it and indulge maybe more than I should.

Both my step-father and I agree that we’d rather die fat and happy than miserable because we don’t eat the things we love.

And, no I’m not bashing thin people or those who don’t like junk food.

All I’m asking is to be left alone with my Kraft Singles and other questionable food-stuffs.

They taste good, and I’m perfectly happy with my life decisions.

Megan Mann can be reached at [email protected] or @meganisthemann on Twitter.