Commit to your partner, not the past

Illustration by Miles Huffman

It seems harder today to fully embrace a relationship in the vague surrounding haze of romantic potential. This is especially true for myself, and I find more and more there is only one solution.

Leave every other interest behind.

If you want your significant other to feel like one chapter in a continuum, you are both better off single. The current bae culture seems dependent on a false front of attachment that can easily be severed and turn to hatred.

It can seem difficult to let go of undeveloped kinky sex buddies or prospective blow job maestros or girls with tongue rings or guys with back tats and glutes, but if you enter a relationship you have to let it all go.

If you want to experience all those and haven’t, you’re better back off the field.

For a long time I maintained a mental list of attractive attributes for future partners. Like big butt, ambitious, supportive, good ass, good laugh, huge booty, large derriere and a big posterior.

I kept a list mostly so that I wouldn’t get attached to anyone that’s ultimately bad for me. That’s all good, but keeping a list while in a relationship is unhealthy.

This isn’t about casual sex and it isn’t about a casual relationship. After partnering with someone, it’s become clear to me there can be no discrepancies. The more you lie and keep from your partner the more replaceable they become.

Forget just how your partner is going to feel. Sometimes you’ll miss the feelings you used to have.

Advocating commitment in a relationship is nothing out of the ordinary opinion drivel of traditional societal norm. Yet the conception of romantic side assets is relatively new and has been theatrically canonized.

Don’t hold on to past lovers, or even potential lovers, if you’re trying to progress with someone. It’s only when you let go of everything that you can begin building something.

William Rein can be reached at [email protected] or @toeshd on Twitter.