The Orion

Don’t touch my Tylenol

Megan Mann

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Illustration by Miles Huffman

When Tylenol had a massive recall of most of its products back in 2010, most people went on with their day-to-day lives.

Me? I was stockpiling red and white bottles like a survivalist stockpiles canned goods and machetes.

It’s pretty well known that Tylenol is bad for people. Excessive dosage can lead to liver damage and now it’s been uncovered that the drug suppresses feelings of pleasure and pain.

So, why am I hoarding bottles of a painkiller that are bad for me?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice.

Because of my bleeding disorder, I’m not allowed to take any aspirin or ibuprofen products. Well, not unless I want to be bleeding everywhere.

That fun little aspect of my genetic code means that Motrin, ibuprofen and even Pepto Bismol are medications that I can’t take, so I’m pretty much stuck with good ol’ Tylenol, generic or name brand.

The point is that all drugs have side effects, some more negative than others, and the removal of Tylenol from the market won’t change that.

What it will do is piss a ton of people with bleeding disorders off because it’s the only painkiller we can take.

Seriously, I’d still like to be able to treat my migraines without a side of bloody nose, thank you very much.

So before someone gets the bright idea to start the “kill Tylenol” campaign on a petition website, I ask you this:

Do you really want an angry mob on your hands? Because I have no qualms starting one if you come between me and my Tylenol.

Megan Mann can be reached at [email protected] or @meganisthemann on Twitter.

 

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Don’t touch my Tylenol