Big boobs, big problems

Photo credit: Helen Suh

Photo credit: Helen Suh

Brittany Mcclintock

Somehow society taught women that having big boobs will be the greatest thing that has ever happened to them. Nearly 300,000 women in America had surgery to enlarge their breasts in 2014.

Bigger boobs aren’t exactly what they’re cracked up to be. They cause more problems than good. Are they nice to look at, sure they can be. But other than the fact they feed our babies, big boobs are the worst.

Let’s start with the shopping aspect. Good luck finding shirts or dresses that won’t stretch, rip or get stuck trying to put them on. The rest of your torso could very well be a medium, but there’s this one detail about your upper body that is going to make that size hard to fit.

Now let’s try to shop for just your boobs alone. Bras. Victoria’s Secret only goes up to a DDD, which sounds great for women smaller than an E. And the truth is most of the cute ones only come in the smallest sizes. If you want the bigger sizes you may have to custom make them online, which is going to cost a decent amount of money.

Other than material items, bigger boobs take a huge physical toll on your body. Have you ever tried running with two water balloons taped to your chest, bouncing and pulling at your skin with every stride you take? You feel like they could just rip off at any second, and trust me you’re going to want to if you try to exercise.

The weight of your front side not only pulls you down, but forward. Many women with a large chest report back pains and slouchy posture because of the weight of their boobs. Some women even remove fat tissue to relieve tension. Actress Ariel Winter had her breast reduction surgery at the age of 17 because of all the troubles she was having.

Next let’s just look at the reputation that large-chested women have. Often people view them as easy or promiscuous. Maybe, just maybe I can see the argument that a girl gets fake large boobs to impress guys. But what about a girl who was born with large boobs? How are they any more promiscuous than the small-chested girls? They’re not, and basing your judgment of a girl’s sexuality on how large her boobs are, is ridiculous.

Finally back to the statistic I mentioned first. Almost 300,000 women in the U.S alone: it’s the No. 1 cosmetic surgery performed. Women pay thousands of dollars to have silicone shoved under their skin, under their muscle, risking health, body damages and a sore wallet just to feel pretty.

Big boobs are not worth the trouble it takes to get fake ones. They’re not even worth it when they grow in naturally. They’re a pain in your neck, literally. They cost you a lot of money and you will never have shirts that fit properly. Now tell me, are they really that nice now?

Brittany McClintock can be reached at [email protected] or @B_McClintock17 on Twitter.