OrionScopes: Week of May 1


Photo credit: Briana Mcdaniel

Editor’s note: The horoscopes below are compiled in a collaborative effort from The Orion’s opinion staff and have no actual bearing on current astrology.


Don’t be so controlling. No one likes dirty dishes left for weeks, but try cleaning up your own before blaming your roommates. Dirty dishes aren’t the only thing you need to clean up, your social media is far from aesthetic. No one cares about what you ate unless it looks pretty, so next time take the extra step by putting that protein shake in a mason jar before snapping a pic.


You’ve been so trusting of new people and accepting of their ideas recently but don’t overdo it. Think twice about accepting a ride from that “off-duty Uber driver” you met walking outside of Riley’s. Better to call a trusted friend, or at least order an actual Uber before waking up with a stranger in your bed the next morning.



Your confidence is higher than ever, after passing your last exams. But high academic skills doesn’t equate to high social skills. Rethink your plans of asking your class crush that you’ve never talked to. Use your current confidence to ask for a raise, rather than a date with someone you don’t know.



Your favorite time of year is your birthday season. All that party hype has you in the best mood ever, but don’t let the cake and birthday shots catch up with you and your body. You’ve worked all year to make health conscious decisions, don’t let this celebration set you back to your freshman 15.



You have been extra flirty recently, especially on Tinder. Be careful you don’t get into too many relationships at once. Chico isn’t that big. Don’t play too many people at once, unless you want to run into all seven of your booty calls on campus. Also please get checked out at the health center every few weeks, because you can never be too cautious.



The Chico heatwave is approaching, so it’s time to whip out your favorite swimsuit and flip-flops. All you want to do is dive into Bidwell or swim some laps at the WREC, but don’t get distracted from your school work. Finals are going to hit you hard, especially if you’re too busy zoning out in class. Try splashing around in your bathtub until finals are over.



Your generous personality attracts a loving crowd around you, but having money has also helped. Buying your friends like this causes a lot of people to stop talking to you once money becomes tight. Instead of using all your money, post a cute Snapchat story and your phone will be blowing up with all the attention you desire.



With class registrations on the rise, you have become much more focused on your future. Your major won’t decide your future, so try not to stress out as much. Set aside some alone time for yourself and catch up on that book about Veganism you’ve left in your closet for weeks. You’re allowed to have some time to yourself once in a while, so relax this week.


You hate choosing sides. So when your roommates are arguing about who’s turn it is to take out the trash, you tend to be the savior and take it out yourself. It’s time to let them be adults. You’re no one’s parents, even if you tend to act like it. There might be tension in the house for a while, but just sleepover at your significant other’s place until the balance resumes.



Your love for being right is preventing you from forming new friendships, and keeping old ones, too. Quit being a know-it-all for two seconds. Just because you looked up a Wikipedia article on a topic no one would care about, it doesn’t mean that you’re an expert. Try practicing some humility this week, or risk driving away the remaining friends that you have.



You love your freedom, so going back home for the summer doesn’t sound that appealing right now. Having your mom and dad run your life for a month isn’t your idea of a break. Consider keeping your freedom and renting a summer room in Chico. Your parents enjoy having their freedom too.



You have been very strict on keeping up with your responsibilities recently. You’ve gone to the WREC more than twice a week, attended classes, and you even remembered to register for next semester on time. However, being on top of your game right now doesn’t mean you should add more to the mix. Now is definitely not a good time to get into a committed relationship of any kind, even a pet cat would be a bad idea.