Thanksgiving gave just a glimpse of home-life away from college, surrounded by childhood friends and far-away family. Whether or not you enjoy going home for the holidays, it has come time to face relatives, some for the first time since leaving home. It might be nice to be in your hometown for a prolonged amount of time. However, the weeks before and after the new year can be tough for college students, mainly because of the unlimited, loaded questions that come with this “relaxation.” To some, this time of year can be more stressful than finals week.
1) “How is school?”
What you want to say:
School is great, Susan. I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal and I blacked out for the first time over Halloween weekend. Someone stole my bike and I’ve gained 10 pounds. Great, thanks for asking.
What you do say:
School is great, Susan. I’ve learned a lot about what it means to live on my own. I’m growing a lot and even though it’s really hard, I think I’ve learned so much more than I ever could have imagined.
2) “Why did you fail calculus?”
What you want to say:
I failed calculus, Steve, because it’s Thursdays at 8 a.m. and I’m usually hungover. Also, there’s a guy who sits in front of me who is the cutest person I have ever met in my life and it’s hard to concentrate when you’re hungover and horny at the same time. Thanks for asking.
What you do say:
College is a lot harder than high school, and this semester is really challenging me. I don’t think that math is my strong subject but I know if I take the class next semester I’ll get an A because I’ll be ahead of everyone. Thanks for asking.
3) “Are you dating anyone?”
What you want to say:
When you say “dating anyone” do you really mean “how many strangers have I kissed at parties I don’t even enjoy going to?” Then six. Honestly, maybe more I don’t really keep track. How do you think I have time for a bae when I don’t even have time sleep?
What you do say:
I think this semester I have really been working on myself and I don’t think I need anyone to make me happy. Everyone says that if I don’t go searching for love, I will find it. I’m not in any rush because I know the right person will come find me at the perfect time.
4) “What are your plans after college?”
What you want to say:
If I’m not homeless, stripping really doesn’t seem that bad. It will make me more money than the musical theater degree you keep telling me is a waste of time and money, plus all the dance classes will finally pay off.
What you really say:
I don’t know! I have been looking for internships but nothing is set in stone yet. I still have a semester left and that’s really going to be my goal for the spring.
Thanksgiving has passed now, but Christmas is coming up and you should have these responses at the ready. Good luck.
Kendall George can be reached at [email protected] or @kendallmgeorge on Twitter.
