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The Orion

Tinder for dummies: Master the art of dating in a college town

Photo credit: Diego Ramirez
Photo credit: Diego Ramirez

Today, online dating has reached a much younger crowd in the form of a dating app; Tinder. The app is mostly used by college-aged students sorting through potential people to hook up with. However, it has become such a pop fad that there are numerous, underlying rules to follow when navigating the companion catalog.

First off, it is important to note that there are specific users that the app will match each person with. Identifying and understanding the categories of these users will help get the full Tinder experience. This guide will portray some of the stereotypical users and which is the best way to slide into their messages to ensure a witty response from a match.

The cowboy: This is common in the Chico area. This guy’s profile picture will most likely be him driving a tractor or drinking Keystone Light with his buddies. They will all be wearing matching cowboy boots. The best way to message this guy is to tell him that his tractor is sexy (Kenny Chesney lyrics that aren’t worth looking into).

The Greek lifers: These users have the letters to their sorority or fraternity in their profile. Their profiles will include photos of them partying with their brothers or sisters. These users will likely not match someone unless they are also in Greek life. If they do happen to match you they will consider themselves edgy for going out with a “God Damn Independent.”

The guys who vape: For some reason, men with vape clouds included in their profile picture also have an obsession with small sedans with unnecessarily loud engines. These guys enjoy late nights playing video games with their roommate who may or may not sell drugs. Ask them their favorite vape juice flavor to get the convo going.

The country girl: She claims she loves hunting and fishing. Her profile probably includes something about her love for horses or dogs. Asking this girl if she wants to go tailgating or on a date to go mudding is the way to her heart.

The gym rats: Profile pictures for the gym-goers are going to be selfies taken near some extremely large weights, fully flexed. How to hit on these users is undetermined due to the fact they spend all of their time hitting the gym and drinking protein shakes. There should honestly be a separate gym-rat tinder that can only be accessed by people who spend 20 or more hours a week working out.

The ‘not here for hook-ups’ profile: This means the person is looking for a lifelong relationship via Tinder. They take their profiles very seriously and probably want to be wined and dined. The best way to approach these users would be to ask them how many kids they want or where they plan on settling down.

The Outdoorsman: Easy to spot because they will have the statement ‘avid outdoorsmen’ in their bio. These users are similar to the cowboy minus the part where they pretend they reside from the South. Complimenting the picture of the trout he caught on the Sac River is sure to impress this dude.

Most users can fall into one of these categories or somewhere in between the spectrum. Follow this guide and you are sure to land a semi-awkward date at Madison Bear Garden this weekend.

Nicole Henson can be reached at [email protected] or @nicohenson.

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