I’m asking all the ladies to step their pussies up, and switch to cardboard tampon applicators.

The applicator, which is inside the vagina for MAYBE one second, creates an incredible amount of waste. You might as well use cardboard, which is far more biodegradable, instead of plastic.

The tampon we all know and love, a wad of cotton attached to a sturdy trailing string, comes with an applicator. For the vag-less folks reading, it is a small two part device that basically injects a tampon into the recipient. Here is a video if you are clueless.

In trying to think of things to compare it to, I could only think of an old fashioned wooden pop gun. 

According to an article from National Geographic, “In 2018 alone, people in the U.S. bought 5.8 billion tampons, and over the course of a lifetime, a single menstruator will use somewhere between 5 and 15 thousand pads and tampons, the vast majority of which will wind up in landfills as plastic waste.”

When I suggest to my friends that they switch to cardboard, I get hit with various knee jerk reactions: “Hell no,” “That’s disgusting” “I’m not putting that shit in my vagina.”

Look, I get it. 

The first time I ever used a tampon I was 12. My family had plans to go to the beach, and I got my period. Not wanting to go, I was relieved to tell my mom I was menstruating. 

“Oh, do you want to try using a tampon?” she asked.

Alarmed, realizing I wasn’t getting out of the beach trip and at the same time curious, I said yes. 

My mom, who only used cardboard applicators, pulled out a tampon and in her hands showed me how it works. 

Alone, just me and the toilet, I squatted awkwardly and inserted my first tampon. I thought I might pass out. 

Sure, I had inserted my own exploratory finger inside my vagina a time or two, but this was something foreign. 

It wasn’t … painful, but it didn’t feel right. It made me feel nauseous in a way. Had I used a plastic applicator, it would have been less unpleasant. 

The tampon engineers know what they are doing. Yes, the plastic ones go in slightly smoother and are more “aerodynamic,” but again, it is inside you for a millisecond. 

After a few more times using tampons, I adjusted. It didn’t matter to me if it was cardboard or plastic. In a way I feel lucky that I started with the less desired applicator, because I never had to switch from precious plastic to cardboard. 

Sisters, it may seem scary, but you can make the switch and eventually you won’t even think about it. Trust me!

No applicator?

Last summer I went to Israel and needed to buy tampons. First, I was floored that there was only one option available at the supermarket I went to. In America, buying tampons is like picking an ice cream flavor at Baskin Robbins. 

Second, I was dismayed to find the tampons I bought, the only option available, didn’t have applicators.

“You mean to tell me I have to finger this into me?” I asked the girls on my trip. 

One of my friends said this was common in Europe. Apparently this is the norm in certain countries overseas. 

Considering this, I think I may need to step my pussy up, and switch to no applicators. 

Here is the nitty gritty when it comes to why we use applicators. It is more sanitary, and I think we can all agree we don’t usually wash our hands before we insert a tampon. 

The applicator gives us a barrier between our hands and the vagina. This is especially important when using a public bathroom.

Without the applicator, we would have to thoroughly wash our hands, keep one hand clean while we use the other to open the bathroom stall and open the tampon itself, then carefully insert the tampon with our FINGERS, and then have this gross period hand we need to wash. 

Not to mention when you go to change your tampon, you typically pee before doing so. This means you then have to wipe which means your hands are unsanitary. So are you going to go back out the stall and wash your hands again and then go back in the stall to insert the tampon?

It’s madness. 

And yet there is the argument that this slight annoyance to the individual builds up, creating waste that impacts everyone. 

Using applicator-less tampons at home in your own bathroom would be a good way to reduce waste. 

Reusables?

The reusable menstrual cup changed my life, for some time. 

In high school I got a DIVA Cup, which is a silicone cone-shaped cup that you fold and insert into the vagina. It then collects the blood and whatnot — because we all know there is some whatnot mixed in.

You then empty the cup, wash it and put that baby right back in ya. You can leave it in for hours. I would go a whole school day with it, then go home and empty it. It was great.

I loved the DIVA Cup. It wasn’t perfect all the time. Sometimes I couldn’t get it in quite right and it would leak or hurt. Often it gave me the constant feeling of having to pee because of how it pressed against my bladder, but it got the job done. 

Then, things changed. I got what felt like an endless bout of yeast infections and general discomfort down there. The doctors consistently told me to try not using the DIVA Cup, but I refused to even think this could be the issue. 

Until, after probably six years of standing by the DIVA Cup, I went back to tampons. I hated to admit it for a while, but my discomfort cleared, and things were once again smooth sailing.

But try it! It ended up not working for me after years of loving it. The vagina is volatile and can change. I guess that’s what happened to me, but you might love it. 

It’s like $40 depending on where you buy it, and it can last you years. Compared to spending around $15 a month, it saves you money and saves the planet a ton of waste.

I didn’t mention pads, because I’m a grown woman and I don’t use them. Just kidding. I know it’s common for some women to still use them but it could not be me. So if you don’t mind sitting in your discharge and blood all day, maybe try a reusable pad.

We women bear the unfortunate burden of menstruation. Believe me guys, if it was up to me there would be no periods, but you know, Eve and the apple and all that.

However, it is also our burden to be conscious of the waste our period creates. If you use tampons, at the very least switch to cardboard applicators. 

The Hungry Wildcat Food Pantry offers tampons for students. They typically offer cardboard applicators, and sometimes plastic.

Molly Myers can be reached at [email protected] or [email protected].