Since 1981, the collective world of baseball has been spared the horror of watching the Dodgers and the Yankees play each other in the fall classic. Alas, the fall of our discontent is upon us as that 43 years of glorious summer may be coming to an end.
Barring a series comeback by the Mets, the next World Series will be the Yankees against the Dodgers, the evil empire against the evil empire west, the mustaches against the parking lots and the second highest payroll against the third highest payroll.
The highest payroll belongs to Steve Cohen’s Mets. He bought the team four years ago for about $2.4 billion, a touch more than the $1.8 billion in fines the hedge fund he founded paid for insider trading.
The last subway series was a novel event, but does it really feel American if the teams aren’t flying on private jets back and forth all the way across the nation? Public transportation is for the peasants, or in this case, the fans.
Any bold Dodgers fans that brave traffic to drive their cars to the game will have no trouble finding free spaces in the enormous sea of concrete that is their parking lot. On the walk from their car to the stadium, past the other 15,999 spaces, they can take a moment to remember the Battle of Chavez Ravine.
Who needs housing, schools and playgrounds when they could have a pantheon of American exceptionalism? Socialists, that’s who. For the $1,000 or so it will cost for the cheapest ticket, I am relatively sure that the team will provide someone to worry about the moral history of Dodger Stadium, so that baseball fans, of which there should be at least a few at Dodger games, don’t have to.
At least one of the teams is thoughtful enough to spare us the revulsion of having to watch someone play baseball with long hair or a goatee. Steinbrenner is still policing his players potential “lack of discipline” from the grave.
The teams have faced each other 11 times in the World Series, the most between any two teams. Major League Baseball and sports media outlets will rejoice in the hype that comes with the two largest markets facing off to decide a champion. At least the broadcasters can’t pretend that only one team is playing. It’s too late for Guardians fans.
There is some slight consolation for the neutral fan, however. This is a chance to see Judge and Ohtani, two of the greatest ball players of their generation, on the field facing each other in the World Series, even if Shohei is only half of his role-defying self. It would have been glorious to see Ohtani pitching through the murderer’s row that is Soto, Judge and Stanton.
I’m happy to wait another 43 years for that chance.
Sean Shanks can be reached at [email protected].
