Originally, I was going to do a post on
white people problems, but as I pitched it, a colleague tried to make me cop
out, reasoning that she couldn’t write an article on black people problems.
But funny enough, she can. We all have problems that come with our genetic structure, whether it be brought on by melatonin, or hair texture.
White People Problems
1. Not tanning evenly or getting sunburned.
I have a lot of fair skinned friends who complain about how the sun abuses them once spring and summer are in full swing. I usually deny their invitations to the pool, because I can’t stand the sun. When they come back, they’re either complaining about tan lines, or walking very timidly because everything hurts from sunburns. Instead if sunscreen, some of them grab tanning oil. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Rookie mistake.
2. Death by the Environment
OK look, I’m not one to knock other people’s hobbies, but it seems like white people love to do things that involve them getting really up close and personal with some of the more dangerous elements that the Earth has to offer us.
With a few outliers here and there, I don’t hear too many people of color doing things like deep-sea cave diving. I know it’s an adventure. But you know what’s more fun than adventure? Being alive!
Don’t get me wrong, black people have their fair share of problems too. Here are some!
Black People Problems
1. Everyone thinks you can dance.
This is not true. Some of us aren’t blessed with the natural ability to bump and grind. Sorry Pretty Ricky. Not every kid of color comes out of the womb with a pair of dancing shoes. Some of us are born with two left feet and need a lot of liquid courage to get us on a dance floor.
2. The “can I touch your hair?” moment.
Oh, I dread that so often. Having my hair touched makes me feel like I’m breaking all the black girl rules. Here’s a tip, unless you are invited to feel the softness of my hair, or helping me put it in a ponytail so I don’t throw up on it, do not touch the hair.
We are not all Beyoncé. I didn’t wake up like this, and it took more than 45 minutes to get all dressed up.
Prin Mayowa can be reached at [email protected] or @PrinSupreme on Twitter.
