The hierarchy growing up in the Xepoleas family went as such: We lived our day-to-day lives until one of us royally screwed up, in which case my dad would call a family meeting.
This generally consisted of us sitting in our family room and respectfully listening to each other talk until it was time to put in our two cents. In layman’s terms it sounds pretty mild, but when you’re 17-year-old Sophia and John Xepoleas calls a family meeting, everything you have ever done wrong in life starts coming back to you in a huge, horrific flash.
As I sunk into our old, worn-out recliner, I attempted to mask the terror that was brewing behind my poorly presented facade.
I prepared myself for the worst and was ready to deny until the day’s end. My dad, being the man that he is, indulged in long, drawn-out silences that only worsened the suspense. You could cut the tension with a knife.
This is it. I’m screwed. He knows everything, and my life as I know it is over.
That’s when those fateful words painfully escaped his mouth.
“I found your vibrator.”
Embarrassment poured into my veins, and I found myself at a loss for words.
He argued that it was disrespectful to have such an unthinkable object in the first place, let alone to have it somewhere in plain sight.
This may have been my fault to begin with, but for the love of God, was I really sitting in a family meeting that revolved around the little plastic friend that sleeps under my bed?
I can’t blame the man for his animosity toward the situation, but a simple handoff to the maternal side of my family may have been more suitable.
Masturbation can be a delicate subject, and to a certain extent has been viewed as a taboo in modern-day society. This taboo often coincides with feelings such as guilt, shame and discomfort when discussing the topic.
Masturbation is actually a completely normal activity. When handled correctly it can be beneficial for discovering exactly what buttons to press in order to stimulate all the right senses.
If you don’t even know your own anatomy, how is your partner supposed to know what bean to flick?
The perks are endless. Planned Parenthood even suggests that masturbation can be good for both physical and mental health. It can provide benefits such as: improved sleep, increased self-esteem, reduced stress, release of sexual tension, and despite popular belief, can even improve relationships and increase sexual satisfaction.
Don’t be afraid to invest some time in yourself and do something that not only feels good, but is also good for you.
While it may seem like an embarrassing or shameful activity, masturbation is really just a part of life and isn’t something to shy away from.
Get comfortable with yourself and get to know your body in the process. You never know what you might discover.
Sophia Xepoleas can be reached at [email protected] or @soph_mxx on Twitter.
