It’s OK for girls to make the first move.
As women, taking charge when it comes to asking a guy out is commonly perceived as abnormal. However, the pathetic perception that guys should always be the ones to ask girls out needs to end.
When it comes to taking that initial first step, the majority of guys are usually just as nervous as we are. Making the first move may just end up getting the relationship going, especially if you have chemistry.
Of course, making that first move is always nerve-wracking, and it takes an unimaginable amount of courage. I have always been nervous about asking guys out. I’ve only done it a couple of times, and even though it never ended up working out, I’ve always come out of the situation feeling more confident about myself than I did before. It helped me realize that I was capable of a lot more than I thought I was.
The key to taking the risk and asking a guy out is playing it cool and keeping it casual. Keep a positive attitude throughout the entire conversation, and be a bit flirty in the process.
Men are attracted to women who make them feel good, according to an article on yourtango.com, a website dedicated to love and relationships.
“If you nag or complain a lot, then he’ll begin to imagine this is what it will be like when the two of you are married and run away quickly,” the article reads. “If you seem to always have a positive outlook on life, you’ll be a keeper, as he’ll imagine great times with you in the future.”
Also, don’t try and over-think anything. If you over-think the situation by agonizing over what you’re going to say or what the end result might be, you may end up backing out of taking that first step. If that happens, you may never know if he wanted to be in a relationship with you. There is the chance that he might end up asking you out later anyway. But if that doesn’t happen, over-thinking the situation and failing to ask him out may keep you from ever knowing whether the two of you had a chance.
Lastly, have fun with it. The worst thing that can happen is that he says no. If that happens, so be it. Let it go and just think of him as a practice round for the next time you want to ask a guy out.
And if he says yes, then all the more reason to be happy. Either way, just remember that even guys get scared when it comes to asking us women out. I mean, who can blame them? We can be quite intimidating sometimes.
So take that leap of faith and take the initiative. Don’t let a possible relationship slip from beneath you just because you’re nervous. Be brave, and have fun in the process.
Tara Miller can be reached at [email protected] or @chicojournalist on Twitter.
