I love the holiday season, but sometimes I have to ditch out on family for my own health.

Once someone reaches adulthood, holidays become a lot more difficult to navigate. Family gatherings are great, but I can’t always make it to Thanksgiving or our big family Christmas. Being married means that I have to split time between two families, and money is tight these days.

It takes courage to say no to your family, especially if it is the first holiday without them, but sometimes it is necessary. Being an adult comes with hard choices, and while family is important, it’s not always the best environment for a person. I know people who are bullied by their families, or have relatives who struggle with substance abuse. It’s okay to be selfish. It’s crucial to be safe.

Family obligations are not the only responsibilities of the season. With all of the holiday parties and events that take place, it’s impossible to attend them all. Sometimes there just isn’t enough time to juggle school and family obligations.

And when presents get thrown into the mix, it can strain a poor college student’s wallet. Sometimes choosing a safe and stress-free environment is the best present to give oneself.

Like I said, skipping out on family traditions can be hard when it’s the first time. But for me, it isn’t so scary. I have already had so much practice.

Alyssa Dunning can be reached at [email protected] or @alyssadunning3 on Twitter.