“Venom: The Last Dance” may be the final Venom movie, but it isn’t the last movie we will see in this franchise – which either makes me sad or angry. I don’t know or want to think about that. From the opening scene which I’m pretty sure was stolen from a video game due to the atrocious visual effects – What happened to the make-up department? — to the incoherent story riddled with issues from plot to character, this was a movie that was excruciatingly difficult to sit through.
The movie was directed by Kelly Marcel and starred Tom Hardy – whose performance was devoid of any emotions and depth – and Juno Temple – who played Dr. Paine, a scientist at Area 55 who studies Symbiotes.
On the run from not just the law, after the effects of the last movie, they are also on the run from these giant teleporting monsters that are trying to find the codex – which will save the video game-esque character introduced in the beginning of the movie from the prison the Symbiotes put him in.
The codex only reveals itself to the teleporting monsters when Venom is in his true form. When Venom enters his true form the monsters get a ping and race after him, making an attempt to capture Venom to save their video game master.
Hardy plays Eddie, who just wants to get away from the life he’s been thrust into, despite the fact he hated his previous life too. However, Hardy doesn’t know how to move his eyes, show emotion or create any depth to his extraordinarily-dull character. This was frustrating especially after his stoic yet depthful performance in “The Bikeriders,” which really let Hardy shine.
We were carried through the plot by virtually nothing; everything felt very forced – from the beginning when Venom and Eddie break up a dog fighting ring they just randomly stumble upon to going to Las Vegas for a quick dance sequence with Venom and Mrs. Chen. There was so much in this movie that was pointless and could be stripped without much loss.
If this was Venom’s final hooray and goodbye then, they even underserved there. The film didn’t play like a party or emotional journey, rather it played like a brain rot, inconsequential, bland movie that has nothing to show for it other than that sweet franchise dough. Oh, and it’s incredible production.
The production design, especially in Area 55 was striking. Its large oval windows and bright colors were very inspired from Denis Villenueve’s films “Arrival” and “Dune.” At another point in the movie we meet this conspiracy-oriented family that is hunting for UFOs in their van. While they were criminally underused and also just had no use in the story, their singing, happy-go-lucky attitude was a highlight of the movie.
I left this movie wanting a refund for my time being wasted on something so ridiculously boring. I thought about crawling over the couples surrounding me to save my eyes from whatever in the post-golden age of superhero movies I was watching.
The movie literally ends with Eddie walking through New York City to “Memories” by Maroon 5 as he has flashbacks to all those good ole’ memories with his now deceased parasitic partner.
What in the middle schooler fan edit was that garbage? Seriously… Maroon 5? I broke out in laughter, wondering if there was anyone who would actually find this sad or relatable. The only flashbacks I was having was to a life before I watched this garbage movie.
Chris Hutton can be reached at [email protected].
