Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Power Balance: an unbiased study

Published 2011-10-25T19:38:00Z”/>

opinion

Quinn Western

As I slip the white rubber band onto my wrist and watch the hologram glisten in the sunlight, I can feel the power radiating through my body.

Power Balance bracelets contain a hologram that designers claim optimizes the energy flow of the human body, leading to an improvement in strength, flexibility and speed.

I put these claims to the test and was not disappointed. An assistant and I chose Chico State students at random and performed the same Power Balance tests that are performed in the commercials.

Tests subjects reached behind their backs as far as possible, balanced on one foot against a slight push and performed toe touches. Each subject performed each task twice with a different bracelet – either the Power Balance bracelet or a regular Lance Armstrong style band.

We found that when a subject didn’t know which bracelet they were wearing, they always improved during the second trial. Of the seven students we tested, three of them were already wearing Power Balance bracelets.

But just because all the evidence proved me wrong, that doesn’t mean that the bracelets don’t work – because they most certainly do. I’m wearing a Power Balance bracelet right now and I feel like I’m typing at lightning speed.

Senior recreation major Elisanne Wells-Garcia was a subject for the Power Balance test and was one of the students that wears one herself.

Wells-Garcia used to think the bands were dorky, but has been hooked on wearing them since last summer.

“I trip a lot so I wear it when I run to psych myself out,” Wells-Garcia said.

Some people say the power of these bracelets is all on the wearer’s head. But if that’s the case, how do you explain all of these great athletes achieving greatness and other real life occurrences?

The effectiveness of Power Balance products is so revolutionary that one can’t believe they paid a mere $30 for this energy.

Buying a Power Balance bracelet is like buying superpowers, and what’s wrong with that? Batman did it. I’m sure that he was sporting a Power Balance bracelet underneath the black gloves.

Why stop at just bracelets? I’d buy underwear with these holograms in a heartbeat. And as soon as Power Balance cereal hits the shelves, Wheaties will become “the breakfast of used-to-be champions.”

Former NBA player Shaquille O’Neal, who gave a testimonial for Power Balance LLC, experienced increased energy and power on the court after wearing the silicone bracelets.

“And then when I took it off, I went back to normal,” O’Neal said in a Power Balance promotional video.

Ever since I scored a back-to-back birdie-eagle on the golf course when wearing the bracelet I have found myself using it in everyday life, not just in athletic tasks. I don’t see why any athlete doesn’t go into to their game or match decked out in holograms from head to toe.

At the end of his promotional video for Power Balance, O’Neal vowed to continue wearing the magical bracelets, even saying that he would increase his edge by decking himself out in even more Power

Balance merchandise.

“Wristbands, necklaces, T-shirts, over the heart,” O’Neal said.

These bands of glory are slowly, but positively showing up and improving our daily lives.

Senior biology major James Johnson has worn his black band every day for the past two years.

“It looks cool right?” Johnson said. “If I don’t wear it I just look silly.”

There’s a student who has his priorities straight.

For the first three or four months, Johnson was performing better in tennis and basketball, he said.

It must have improved other areas of his life for him to keep wearing it for so long.

“It’s just a fad that probably doesn’t have much merit,” said Rachel Bennett, a senior recreation major.

Those like Bennett who refuse to see the power behind Power Balance will never see that these bracelets are diamonds in this rugged, sloppy and uncoordinated world of ours.

We must cherish each and every one like we care for the children of tomorrow. These are the bracelets of the future.

<hr />

<strong>Quinn Western can be reached at</strong>

<em>[email protected]</em>

 

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