An elegant, informative review of a restaurant or bar can make all the difference in the world. A good review has the power to transport the reader to that place and give useful insight into that dining experience. This is not one of those reviews.
I went out last Tuesday and sampled six of Riley’s most popular specialty shots. Upon consumption, I wrote down my immediate thoughts and ranked them in order from best to worst. DO NOT order these all at once, it’s not worth the stomach ache.
- The Winner: Rocket Fuel
This Chico staple deserves the crown. To me, rocket fuel is a concoction of nostalgia and good times. Simply raspberry vodka, a splash of cranberry, and Red Bull, this drink soars above the rest.
I am a big fan of the taste profile: The flavors of raspberry and Red Bull complement each other nicely, creating a take on fruit punch with extra punch.
The effects of this drink are notorious as well; the stimulant effects of Red Bull and the sedative effects of vodka essentially create a palatable speedball … delicious.
- Lemon Drop.
This delightful little aperitif reminds me of a sunny summer day. The sweetness and tartness are surprisingly well-balanced and have just the right amount of punch. Honestly reminds me of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but an express version. Smash.
- Kamikaze
Vodka, triple sec and lime juice. The taste lies somewhere between a lemon drop and a Moscow Mule.
Albeit very sweet, this one is a solid option. The Kamikaze is a sort of no-frills specialty shot, it’s not offensive but not very memorable either. The name gives it a little more credit than it deserves.
- Capri-Sun
Pineapple forward. The sweetness of the pineapple is the only thing that I noticed.
Rum, schnapps, pineapple juice and a slight cranberry splash. This shot was probably the sweetest one on the list — and that’s saying something.
I wouldn’t recommend this one, but it’s not the worst. Tastes a bit like a fruit punch but with even more sugar. This one lives up to its name and tastes like something a child would enjoy.
- The Stoplight
The Stoplight shot is three separate shots: Each shot has a foundation of vodka and triple sec. The Stoplight is more of a prank than a traditional shot; think a whoopee cushion you can drink.
The green shot features a melon liqueur which gives it its greenish hue. Yellow light is pineapple juice. Red light is the drink of reckoning: cranberry and Tabasco.
The latter is the reason this mixture ranks second to last. The green shot has a buoyant quality like JELL-O, not great. The yellow is straight pineapple, not bad. The last will stop you dead in your tracks and will make you see red.
However, this can be a fun shot sequence to order for somebody’s 21st birthday, so it has its place.
- Scooby Snack
Disgusting. This shot is a wretched Frankenstein experiment forged in the fires of evil. Composed of heavy cream, coconut rum, melon liqueur and pineapple juice, this one will make you wish you stayed home.
The Scooby Snack is a ‘cream forward’ shot, the thick dairy composition slides down your gullet in a horrific fashion. All you will taste is the cream and the melon liqueur; hard pass.
Bonus: The 805 I ordered afterward to soothe my stomach
On second thought, beer is the winner. For the love of god, just drink beer.
That’s all I got, folks. Do not binge drink and do not order all of these at once, you will regret it.
Disclaimer: The stunts performed in this article were ill-advised and left Kit feeling yucky. Please drink responsibly.
Kit Beauchamp can be reached at [email protected].
