In relationships, there is nothing more important than support

Dylan Dewit

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Illustration by Miles Huffman

My girlfriend and I made the drive up to Portland for her grandfather’s funeral. The trip was last-minute, and was undeniably difficult for her.

For a long time now, we have planned to travel to Portland some day. But when the time finally came, I understood right away that this trip wasn’t for pleasure.

We drove up to Portland, through fog and traffic, and finally arrived at her cousin’s apartment around 7:30 p.m.

We did not go out to dinner. We did not see a show. Instead, we sat in a sparsely furnished living room and watched a Trail Blazer’s game until it was time for bed.

That morning, we did not go to a breakfast joint on the river. We ate scrambled eggs and got dressed for the service.

It was then that I realized how important my role was over the weekend. I was not there to travel, but to be a figure of support for my girlfriend.

Instead of holding a beer and listening to music at a Portland bar, I held tissues, listened to eulogies and kept a shoulder open.

Truth be told, I have never had a better vacation.

Yes, relationships mean sacrifices once in awhile. It means skipping pick-up basketball games to grab a late breakfast with your partner. Putting plans on hold with friends because she’s sick and you probably need to stay around the house to help her out because nobody microwaves soup better than you.

But truly satisfying relationships mean loving these sacrifices, because it means that you’re wanted for something bigger than just your company, you are wanted for support. There isn’t anything more satisfying than that.

We’ll visit Portland someday. But for now, I’m wherever she needs me to be, and I wouldn’t want to be anyplace else.

Dylan de Wit can be reached at [email protected] or @DylanTdeWit on Twitter.

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