Girl Scout Cookies will go from top to bottom shelf

Illustration by Miles Huffman

Each year as Girl Scouts set up stands in front of Safeway, consumers collect as many cookies as possible before the opportunity is lost and one must wait another 300 something days to taste the flavor.

Students of Chico State love to support the youngsters in uniform outside local markets representing their troop behind tables stacked high with colored cookie boxes.

But this fall, an oven designed specifically to bake Girl Scout Cookies will hit consumer stores and the culture around Girl Scout Cookies may die.

Not just students, but most townsfolk grind their teeth as months pass awaiting Girl Scout Cookie season.

Each year those portable tables unfold in front of grocery stores around the country, girl scouts can expect to make a substantial profit, and a lot of satisfied customers.

Make a Girl Scout Cookie oven available to the public and that culture goes down the drain.

These ovens make the cookies too accessible. I would buy an oven and scarf down Girl Scout cookies year round until the cookies lose their satisfying flavor. Just because people should be able to demonstrate restraint doesn’t mean consumers can.

Yet nobody should have to show self-control when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies. And until now, nobody has had to.

A social consensus encourages indulgence. People want as many boxes as they can have while they can have them.

After all, the cookies are only accessible for a limited time each year.

My prediction is as soon as the Girl Scout Cookie oven hits the shelves of retail stores near you, Girl Scout Cookies will surge in sales before profit levels off and the cookies become old news all together.

Girl Scout Cookies are not Oreos. Oreos are classic. Oreos will always be milk’s favorite cookie.

Girl Scout Cookies evoke a yearly craving that must be satisfied. But let’s not ruin that by selling out on the shelves of every Safeway in town.

Miles Inserra can be reached at [email protected] or @m_inserra on Twitter