Loving sex more than the person

Illustration by Liz Coffee
Illustration by Liz Coffee

Sometimes the sex is far greater than the partner you are engaging with.

I have had the partners where I loved the sex but not them.

One partner I had, annoyed me because he had this noise he would make that just was off-putting. It sounded like he was about to sneeze and the facial expression he had reminded me of a troll.

But the sex we had was amazing.

I wanted it. I craved it. And I would go out of my way just to have it. 

He liked me but he knew from the beginning I was in it just for the sex and not a relationship.

Communicating you are just in it for the sex helps avoid the whole awkwardness of the situation and also helps in setting up a boundary for the sexcapades.

It is OK to keep up the casual sex as long as you both are on the same page. But don’t string them along if they actually care about you and not just the sex.

If the person seeks a relationship after you have set the boundary up, it might be time to say adieu and move on to the next partner.

It is never easy but it is better than having them nurse sore feelings and harboring bitterness towards you.


Chantal Richards can be reached at [email protected]