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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

WiseCat: Studies before love

How do I tell a boyfriend that he is becoming a distraction from school? -Anonymous

Juggling a relationship with the demands of school can be difficult in college. You came here for school, and that should be your first priority here in Chico. Relationships can be great if your significant other is your main supporter, because there are many other hardships in a college student’s life besides classes. But if homework is piling up, telling your significant other that you need more time apart for yourself might be a necessity. If you decide to broach the subject, follow these three guidelines.

1. Think about if the relationship is worth it. 

As long as your boyfriend is supportive, he should understand that you need to focus on school, he should be able to accept what you are saying. If your boyfriend is distracting you from school and everything else you do, you have a problem. Your boyfriend should be someone who makes you a better person. If he is, then tell him how you feel and work it out.

2. Tell him you need to spend less time together.

 That may mean no sleeping over at each other’s houses on school nights and hanging out less than usual. Focusing on school is important right now. With finals coming up, you do not have time to waste.

3. Make it clear that you need time apart because of school and not because he did something wrong.

He needs to know that you are not managing your time the right way and that you need to give school more attention than him right now. Do not confuse him into thinking you are trying to take a break, because there’s a difference between taking a break from a relationship and spending less time together.

If your boyfriend does not understand what you are saying, you should probably reconsider being in the relationship. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of being with someone else, but you cannot just put your priorities to the side. It is good that you are trying to change your focus back to school instead of your relationship. You do not want to realize that you should have prioritized classes after you get your semester’s grades back.



Kristina Martinez can be reached at [email protected] or @kristinacsuc on Twitter.

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