Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Friends before enemies

Kristina Martinez
Kristina Martinez

My friend is having a birthday dinner but she invited a girl I don’t get along with. How do I handle the situation?



Dear Anonymous,

There are always going to be situations in life that make you uncomfortable. This will probably be one of them. But your friend is asking her friend and you to put your differences aside just for one day for her. Be the bigger person. This means:

1. Show up

Do not just avoid your friend’s event because you do not want to see someone you do not like. That will make your friend feel unimportant and will show the person you do not like that they can control situations involving you. You have to be unselfish in this situation if this friend is really important to you.

2. If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all

Keep the sassy comments and remarks to yourself. Do not turn to your friends and say something. Just keep it locked away for the time being. You will both already be on your toes waiting for the other person to say something snarky, so avoid the temptation. It will be a disappointment for your friend. The last thing your friend wants is for you to start arguing while everyone is trying to eat.

3. Be civil 

If the person says hi, greet them in return.There’s no need to be rude. You can leave it at that. Your friend is probably already feeling uncomfortable, and you have to try your best to assure her that everything will go smoothly. You do not have to be overly nice, or go out of your way for this person. Just have basic manners towards them.

4. Ignore any comments made about you 

This person is not worth getting worked up over. A friend’s event is not the time nor the place to address your issues with someone else. Let your friend have her moment. If you really want to confront this person, do it another time.

It will also show people that you are more mature than the person you do not like because you are not starting anything.

Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone. That is just how life works. Being the bigger person in situations when you really do not want to be only helps you become a better person.

– Wisecat


Kristina Martinez can be reached at [email protected] or @kristinacsuc on Twitter.

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