I like to dominate the bedroom.
Whether it’s primal instinct or personal preference, I like the balance of dominance to lean towards me. As long as my partner enjoys being on the opposite end of that balance, sex becomes very kinky and thus extremely fun for both of us.
Not everyone enjoys the level of kinkiness that I do, but I think it might be fun for people to experiment as long as it is done in a safe and comfortable environment. The key is to have open and honest communication with your partner about what you do and don’t like, and what you would each like to try.
Here are some of the things that I enjoy in my own sex life, with some tips for implementing them in yours:
1. Scratching
Scratching is a great way to introduce a raunchier side to your intercourse. It lets your partner know that what they are doing feels good, and it adds a slight bit of pain to the pleasure, which I find extremely satisfying.
2. Hair pulling
I pull my partner’s hair every time I have sex. I think it’s hot and dominant. It can also feel good for them as long as it isn’t overdone. I like my own hair being pulled for the same reasons.
Hair pulling adds variety to any position you try, and multitasking different sexual acts often leads to hotter and more passionate love making.
3. Slapping the buttocks
The butt is quite padded, so one can use a little strength. But make sure to ask your partner how they feel about this one as it can be a quick mood killer if it’s not well-received. I haven’t had many partners that didn’t like this, but one felt that it was disrespectful and I definitely do not like it being done to me.
The one time I did get my rear end smacked, that “sexcapade” ended quickly and abruptly, hence the importance of communication.
4. Pretend choking
This is a very dominant act, so proceed with caution. I can’t stress this enough — you do not want to actually choke your partner. Put the pressure on the sides of the neck and make sure to not cut off the wind pipes in front.
This can be really fun and add an entirely different dynamic to sex.
5. Using a blindfold
Having one partner blindfolded creates a sense of mystery for them. It’s extremely sexy because they don’t know what’s coming next. I like to be very sensual with my partner when they have the blindfold on — teasing and caressing them.
However, it must be noted that you need to be comfortable with each other before trying this one out, as it leaves one partner very vulnerable.
6. Slight bondage
This is about as kinky as I have gotten. Handcuffs and rope ties are the way to go. Again, the level of comfort and safety must be high.
A kinky sex life isn’t for everyone, but it is for me. Have fun with these tips and if you would like more detailed descriptions, feel free to contact me.
Michael Karp can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @_Michael Karp.