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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Social media can ruin relationships

Veronica De La Cruz

Social media has the potential to ruin any relationship.

It’s astonishing that the updates that a new significant other posts, the photos they take or even whose picture or status they “like” will become just as important as the words coming out of their mouth on the first date.

Instead of getting to know a crush through conversing or going out on dates, many young adults rely on addictive social networks like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to get to know who they’re dating.

Social media was, unfortunately, the cause of a majority of issues in my past two relationships.

There are three main reasons why social media causes issues between couples:

1. It’s not official until it’s Facebook official

There are many insecurities when relationships first start and social media can only add to them.

Illustration by Frances Mansour
Illustration by Frances Mansour

I know that if the guy I was talking to didn’t want to make it Facebook official, I would begin to wonder if that meant that I wasn’t pretty enough or if he was trying to hide what we had.

Relationship status updates are completely overrated. They’re an easy way for everyone to know who’s dating who but they also give people a reason to lurk or be judgmental.

It also attracts unneeded attention to relationships, which could potentially ruin the excitement that comes with becoming official through a social network.

2. Lurking is inevitable

Lurking and jealousy go hand in hand and can contribute to a ruinous relationship.

Exes from the past may start reappearing and sending friend requests on Facebook and Instagram to see what their former flames are up to.

Something as idiotic as getting upset over your partner liking someone else’s picture can start a never-ending cycle of jealousy. I can’t even count the number of fights I’ve gotten into because my boyfriend liked another girl’s picture.

It wasn’t because I thought they were better looking or that he wanted them. It was simply because I couldn’t stand the fact that my boyfriend had taken five seconds out of his day to double-tap a girl’s photo on Instagram.

Human beings have a natural tendency to carry many insecurities, which results in them looking for any reason to compare themselves to others. This is why any person from a partner’s past should be avoided.

3. People should face their problems, not Facebook them

The excitement of getting into a new relationship gives people the desire to upload pictures with their partners or to talk about them in status updates, whether it’s positive or negative.

This can quickly become annoying, not only for the partner, but also for the people on social networks who then become unnecessarily involved in whatever is going on.

Social media should not be treated like a diary.

If there’s an issue, the only people who should be involved are those in the relationship. Once others get involved it becomes an opportunity for outsiders to make judgements or feel like they have a say in what goes on between a couple.

The more private a love life is kept, the healthier the relationship will be.

Veronica De La Cruz can be reached at [email protected] or @veronica_dlc on Twitter.

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