People are commonly judged by their promiscuity. Not surprisingly, this standard is set simply by the number of people one has slept with.

I have probably slept with an average or below number of partners by Chico State standards.

Much of society would say that if someone’s number was much higher than the average they would be considered very promiscuous. This reasoning falls in line with the existing double standard of
human sexuality.

No matter your gender, your actual number doesn’t matter.

What does matter is how you got to that number, the relationships that define your number and how you judge yourself.

The first partners I slept with were almost all one-night stands. I viewed myself as very promiscuous because I didn’t worry about whether I truly liked
those people.

I consistently saw and really enjoyed spending time with my later partners. I viewed myself as much less promiscuous because those relationships meant more than any I had before.

I have noticed that most of the men I know tend to look at their number and get either an ego boost or a deflation. I’ve experienced it too.

However, most of the women I know tend to look at their number and, unless they are uncomfortable with themselves, never see themselves as promiscuous.

Your number does not matter. Don’t focus on the number itself and, more importantly, don’t worry what others think about your number.

Michael Karp can be reached at [email protected] or @_MichaelKarp on Twitter.