An outcry of pain and a desire to be heard is spread across the static in Angel Baca-Ficklin and Neavh Lovecreek’s emotion-filled song, “Nerium.”

The sludge-experimental-noise, emotion-driven song, released on June 13, creates the perfect platform for a representation of infinite reason and dual perspective.

“We actually had no ideas for a song or concept, it seemed to form itself,” Lovecreek, who uses any pronouns, said. 

Despite the uncertain beginning, static was the two artists’ first step, according to Lovecreek. They tried to make static-changing frequencies in order to sound like an old TV or radio. Eventually the static evolved into the idea of “ghosts in a radio trying to communicate with the living,” according to Lovecreek.
The ethereal, through-the-TV-box sounds and other elements were made using only a few types of equipment and instruments: a downtuned bass, three synths-static, a clip mic, ASMR mic and a borrowed keyed drum machine; all produced using Studio One.

Another ethereal aspect of this project lies outside the song itself and rests in the cover art.

The graphite illustration is not just an album cover, but the epitome of depth. Baca-Ficklin, who uses any pronouns, explains the piece of work as being a depiction of a feminine narcissist.

Specifically, the idea that a feminine narcissist cannot exist due to toxic masculinity.

“The narcissist kind of accuses the victim of being monstrous in a projection and the victim accepts it being empathetic to them so the feminine energy understands and accepts the toxic masculinity too often that it believes itself to be the monster,” Baca-Ficklin said. “So here the feminine energy grows beautifully with intention of being peaceful yet disfigured with darkness believing it is man-eating and poisonous, yet in reality was poisoned or indoctrinated.”

It is here the story behind the song divides. Lovecreek respects their partner’s perspective, but has a different interpretation.

They see the song as a representation of distorted energies “on both ends of the binary-gendered spectrum.” These energies exasperate to the point that individuals begin to hurt others to alleviate personal insecurities.

“To me, this track is representative of the headspace of distorted people who have a subconscious addiction to tumultuous disarray,” Lovecreek said.

Despite a divided meaning, the purpose of the song is to help people realize the impact conformity can have, and make listeners fear losing their humanity in the mundane. As well as to spark a rush of adrenaline in people, specifically femmes, to “feel alive” as the song comes to a close.

This concept wasn’t the only dual element. When deciding upon the lyrics, Baca-Ficklin and Lovecreek presented original poems that, coincidentally, paired well, according to Lovecreek. From there, the two took turns recording individual vocal tracks and adding their own flair.

Baca-Ficklin added an eerie synth sound to the purposefully unadjusted and mismatched tracks, along with gutturals and screaming. Lovecreek added a “sludgy bass line” and the concept of voices through the static.

The title also holds a deeper meaning. “Nerium” is short for Nerium oleander, a plant that produces poisonous, yet beautiful red and pink flowers. These flowers grow in Baca-Ficklin’s yard, but took root as something more meaningful.

“I think we chose this title because of its longing to mythical times of great romance stories and gestures of love which have been minimized, and toxic patterns in relationships today,” Baca-Ficklin said.

The banshee-type screams were inspired by this idea and are meant to encapsulate the experience of poisoned love.

Such an emotional song alludes to emotion in creation. Baca-Ficklin wanted to release the “anguish and reaction” they hold within them due to society’s expectation to be emotionless.

Lovecreek, who was dealing with triggering issues at the time of recording, said the song and its creation process provided a safe environment where they could release their emotions.

Everything in the song has meaning, even the well-placed mistakes, such as the one minute and 32 seconds of dead air after the static ends at the conclusion of the song.

“The dead air was from my software mixing down weird, which I think just adds to the suspense, so I didn’t fix it,” Baca-Ficklin said.

While the creation journey of the song took around only eight hours, the individual journeys of each artist stretches forward and back.

The two artists are not new to music, nor each other. The two met at a folk-punk show under a bridge, where they were showcasing their art. After they started talking, Baca-Ficklin and Lovecreek were drawn together by their interest in spirituality and dark art-fantasy.

They even planned a fashion-art show together, but the concept morphed into the “Nerium” project.

Baca-Ficklin started making music in high school to evacuate their suppressed thoughts into artistic form. They released their first song, “Little Breaths,” in February.

Music isn’t their only creative outlet, they also make physical art of various mediums, including clothing, jewelry and upcycled items. Their wide range of artistic abilities serves as a manner of income, but also as a way to stay grounded and continue to be challenged, according to Baca-Ficklin.

They recently moved from Chico to the Bay Area to be with family, but they have a few dance-goth style songs in the works.

As Baca-Ficklin leaves Chico, Lovecreek remains in the area and continues creating. Music has been a way of life for Lovecreek, who says they’ve been singing their whole existence.

The self-taught musician has had many musical projects over the years; starting with a short-lived queer-hardcore band, DEADXNAME. Now Lovecreek is part of a band called Elysium, which was formed after another music project, SNUFF, concluded. Elysium recently released a single, “Sunflower King,” on July 13.

Lovecreek is also part of a project called Liquid Eyeliner, and has a few concept demos in mind as a soloist.

Outside of music, Lovecreek designs, upcycles and alters clothing, and creates other types of art. 

“Nerium” is available only on SoundCloud. To see more of Baca-Ficklin’s work, go here, and more of Lovecreek’s work, go here.

Ariana Powell can be reached at [email protected].