I have a confession to make.  I am a biter and scratcher in bed.

Just ask the few men who have ended up with the bruises, welts and perfect indentations of my teeth.

The goal is to not draw blood — you aren’t a vampire. Your objective is to turn your partner on even more. For some people, biting and scratching is a turn-on, causing them to go harder and hit the sensitive areas that make you scream with pleasure.

I have two rules when biting and scratching:

1. Don’t break skin. This is a turn-off. Hurting your partner should not be the goal.

2. Bite and scratch when appropriate. I don’t just bite and scratch for the sake of biting and scratching. It has to be well-timed.

Here are a few tips to help both sexes get an extra “oomph” while wrapped up in the throes of passion.

Biting:

Remember to bite your partner gently. The goal isn’t to hurt your partner, but to leave a little reminder of the night before.

I had to master this skill, which took trial and error. I scarred one partner, who still has my teeth marks on his forearm.

Recently, I mastered it well enough where every time my partner took his shirt off, it looked like he had gotten into a scuffle instead of receiving love bites.

These marks are good, because they make for some interesting stories.

Women: 

Clamp down on the chest and arms. Don’t sink your teeth in to the neck because it is sensitive.

Be sure to not bite too hard, because it’s uncomfortable  and tends to make your partner go soft.

Men: 

Gently bite the nipples while swirling your tongue around them. It’s a huge turn-on for most women.

Don’t bite the nipples too hard, because they are sensitive.

Both sexes:

If your partner insists on vehemently pushing your face down when you’re performing oral sex, bare your teeth and nibble gently. This will prevent uncomfortable bouts of oral sex, also known as taking control with a little force.

Scratching:

Nail-biting is not a healthy habit, but it can create jagged nails that leave marks on your partner’s back well after dawn.

My back once had welts after a night with a partner. Upon seeing the scratch marks, my friend commented that I must have had a great night, because it looked like I’d been attacked by a wolverine.

Both sexes can lightly scratch on the partner’s back or dig their nails into his/her shoulders and buttocks.

Scratching is a way to show your partner how much passion you feel. It is a little reminder that lasts several hours afterwards.

Biting and scratching is a turn-on as long as it’s done properly and not with malice.

Chantal Richards can be reached at [email protected].

Illustration by Liz Coffee.